Memorium
by Lady Starwing
Summary: Life is fragile, and not even an immortal can escape death entirely. Those who are left behind are the ones who go through the most pain, not the one whose death they mourn. The pain of the past, no matter how distant, still leaves scars... Char.Death
1. Immortal, not invulnerable

"_Lessone #1: Immortality does not always equal invulnerability."_

Yuan shook his head in annoyance as he walked down the hallway towards Kratos' room, worried that he hadn't appeared when he was summoned earlier. True, he hadn't been exactly the most sociable person recently, but not showing up after receiving a summons from Yggdrasil … Pushing aside the thoughts that plagued his consciousness, Yuan reached Kratos' door and knocked on it. "Kratos, can we talk?" He asked, and upon receiving no response, grew worried and knocked again, louder this time. "Kratos!"

Still no response; swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, Yuan pushed open the door and walked inside. A book was lying neglected and open on the floor, face down, which only served to worry him more, as Kratos never treated books like this. "Kratos!" He called out again, and this time received a cough in response. 'Oh, please … no.' Yuan felt the blood drain from his face as he raced towards the origins of the coughing sound. Upon reaching the bathroom, Yuan flung the door open.

There, leaning against the far wall, was Kratos. He was looking down at the floor, staring down at a puddle of blood. Blood dripped down from his fingers, and as Yuan entered the room, he looked up, revealing glazed red eyes and streaks of blood running down from his mouth. "… Yuan …??" Kratos' voice rasped in his throat, and directly afterword a cough escaped him, blood following behind it. Yuan knelt before his friend, but when he tried to reach out for him, Kratos reached out with the hand not covered in blood. "Don't Yuan … it's much stronger …" he commanded, wincing in pain and clutching at his chest with the other hand. Sickly red stains showed up where the blood had dripped down onto his jacket, and as Yuan watched in horror, Kratos doubled over and coughed again, blood dumping from his mouth as his shoulders heaved with pain.

Yuan could only stare on, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. "No … not again …" he stated sadly, reaching out again and grasping Kratos' shoulder as he stilled, his breathing even more ragged than it was before. When his glazed garnet eyes looked up at Yuan's emerald ones, he asked, "Kratos, how long has this been … going on?" Kratos sighed and stood slowly, and began to wipe the blood off of his face and hand in the sink. Yuan, knowing what Kratos would want, left to fetch a glass. Upon returning, he received a soft grunt in thanks. Taking a swig of water, Kratos spat into the sink to clear his throat, grimacing when he saw that the water was still mostly crimson.

After repeating the action twice over, Kratos' throat was clear enough for him to talk. "It started up yesterday …" He explained, taking off his white and ice blue jacket to soak it in ice water. "I didn't realize how severe it was until this morning though … it seems like it's twice as strong as before, if only to get vengeance for me eluding its curse for so long …" Looking at Yuan, Kratos sighed heavily and shook his head. "I don't think I'll be able to live past a year, two if I'm extremely lucky." Yuan shuddered in fear.

"Is it really _that_ bad?" he asked as he watched Kratos clean up the pool of blood from the tiled floor, voice strained. "I thought that the Aionis ..."

"The Aionis suppressed it, Yuan: it did not rid me of this illness." Kratos shook his head with a sigh. After a moment, he leaned against the wall again, letting a dark laugh escape him. "Heh ... at least this time ... I will have loved ones waiting for me beyond the veil ..." He whispered, his hand reaching up to grasp at the locket he wore around his neck, which hosted the picture of his deceased wife and son. Yuan felt a cold shiver shoot down his back at the thought.

Walking out into the main room together, Kratos and Yuan didn't speak a word until they were seated, and then it was only because of the way Kratos continued to clench at his chest, despite the fact that his breathing had leveled out. Concerned, Yuan asked softly, "Kratos … why are you …?" The auburn glanced over blankly at his friend, a look of sadness and loneliness evident in his eyes as he shifted so that he laid along the length of the couch, the dark fabric making his white outfit stand out sharply.

"My heart still aches …" He said simply, voice soft, eyes distant. "And it is not only because of this illness; this pain has been with me ever since that night … since I lost my world." Yuan felt pain stab at his chest, knowing very well that the small family Kratos had found and then lost had been something that far exceeded description, and losing that family had weakened Kratos severely; severely enough, it seemed, to awaken the terminal disease he had somehow contracted back during the Kharlan War. That scared Yuan greatly, as it seemed almost impossible for him to imagine Kratos dying, dead even; it had always been that way, even when they were both "mortal". As a half-elf, Yuan would have outlived his closest friend by hundreds of years, so it shouldn't have bothered him so much …

And yet, that first morning Yuan and Martel had found Kratos, his shoulders hunched, coughing up a small amount of blood, it felt like everything had turned completely upside down: it was _Kratos_, the strong member of their patched together 'family', _Kratos,_ the one who took no shit from anyone, _Kratos,_ who would give his own life in exchange for his friends … and yet it was _Kratos_ who was dying from a disease, slowly choking to death on his own blood. He hadn't told them until they found out on their own, and even then, he refused to let them tell Mithos, stating that the blond needed to focus on saving the Kharlan Tree and ending the Kharlan War, even though he knew that the youngest half-elf would be heartbroken that his teacher and father figure was hiding something so vital from him.

A sudden, almost insane thought crossed through Yuan's head, and he desperately tried to ignore it, with little success. Turning to Kratos, he asked gently, "Are you sure … are you fully sure that Lloyd didn't make it? You lost him right by Iselia, someone could have found him …" Yuan tapered off as Kratos shook his head, a look of utter agony on his face. About to speak, Kratos' pupils rapidly shrank, and he sat up sharply, covering his mouth again as he began coughing, blood pooling out of his mouth, his body convulsing with each cough. Yuan stared on, horrified and feeling utterly helpless at the sight before him. He couldn't do anything to help his friend, he could only sit there and watch him being killed from the inside out.

Once the most recent attack stopped, Kratos fell back onto his sofa, not even bothering to wipe the blood from his hand or his face, his eyes closed. Yuan didn't need to hear him speak to know that Kratos wanted to be left alone, and for once in his life, Yuan was alright with leaving him alone in his condition: there was nothing that he could do for his friend as it was. Depressed, frightened, and distracted, Yuan walked onto the warp panel without even realizing it, leaving the cold corridors of Welgaia for the warm, sunny fields of Sylvarant.

Glancing around with a sigh, Yuan walked into the nearby forest, intending to go and meet the dwarf he was friends with, Dirk. He wasn't in the right frame of mind to return to the Renegades; not after seeing that the biggest obstacle between his men and the Eternal Sword, seeing his childhood friend, was dying slowly and painfully. Yes, Yuan knew that the only way the Renegades could obtain the Eternal Sword was through Kratos' death, but he didn't think it was fair for his friend to die like _this _…

Pushing all thoughts of the matter aside, Yuan walked on through the Iselia forest, ignoring the few monsters that walked along the way beside him. Shaking his head, Yuan stepped out into the clearing that housed Dirk's small home and forge, relaxing slightly as the sounds of the nearby stream ran as smoothly as it always had. Looking around, Yuan found himself amused to see that Dirk was outside, chopping wood nearby, the hatchet that he was using half his height. Walking towards Dirk, Yuan tried to force a smile onto his face. "Well, it isn't every day that I find you outside right now." He called out, catching Dirk's attention.

Placing the hatchet aside, Dirk walked towards Yuan and grinned up at him, wiping his brow with the back of a hand. "Well, I was 'bout te say the same te ye. Ye've been busy, I take it?" Dirk gave Yuan a knowing look, which made the half-elf nod half heartedly. "Nee' me te do anythin fer ye?" Dirk asked gently.

"Tea would be nice." Yuan admitted softly, to which Dirk nodded and rose.

"I'll get ye some, then." The dwarf stated, and walked quietly towards his house, and was inside within moments. Yuan was about to respond when a low whine reached his ears. Startled, Yuan turned around, and was nearly bowled over by a fast moving blur of white and green fur.

"N – Noishe!?" Yuan gasped, startled by the sight of the protozoan. Noishe whined again, and began to butt his head affectionately against Yuan's torso while Yuan stood there in utter confusion. Noishe was _Kratos'_ companion, so what was he doing here, on Sylvarant? Confused, Yuan reached out to pet Noishe when a young child's call of 'Noshii' made the large beast turn around and whine loudly, his tail wagging happily. As Yuan watched, a small child no more than four years old ran towards them, bare feet raising little clouds of dust where they hit the ground.

Yuan stared. The boy before him had unruly, spiky hair the same deep brown shade as milk chocolate, and a pair of bright red eyes gleamed happily in the sunlight as he ran up to Noishe and hugged him around a leg, calling the protozan a silly doggy. 'It … it can't be!' Yuan thought, shaking his head in shock. But when the boy looked up at him, a confused look spreading over his face, the resemblance that Yuan saw in the still soft and round face was uncanny.

It was Lloyd. He _had _lived! Yuan felt a surge of emotions swell in him, and after a fast heartbeat, he decided upon what his actions arriving in Welgaia would be, unaware of what would happen because of it. Kratos needed to know that Lloyd was alive, and Yuan would tell him.

Before Kratos died, and Lloyd was truly alone.

* * *

_So yeah, this is my new story ... ^^' please don't kill me for what I'm putting Kratos and Lloyd through this time: I was being ruthlessly assaulted by a plot bunny who refused to relent until this story was posted ... X-X I'll try to give more commentary on this idea in the next chapter, but I'm braindead right now. Review for me, pleases.  
_

_DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING_

_Go ahead and say what you all think Kratos' illness is. It's kind of obvious, but there have been people who don't know the name of it ... ;)  
_


	2. Hope cannot be killed easily

_Lessone #2: Hope, no matter how weak and frail it seems, cannot be killed_

Kratos laid still upon the sofa, his eyes closed in restless sleep, his chest rising and falling shallowly. Even though he was technically not supposed to feel a thing, he was acutely aware of the chills racing through his body, making him shiver uncontrollably. Fate seemed to have a cruel sense of humor in regards to Kratos, and not for the first time, he cursed the fact that he was still forbidden from possessing sharp objects. After the first time he had attempted to commit suicide, Yggdrasil had taken any sharp object that Kratos would have used to end his life and hidden them, entrusting Flamberge to Yuan. 'Dying by the sword would be much better than this …' he thought, wincing in pain as another attack struck him.

Staring at his lap once the attack had left him, Kratos felt tears burn at the corners of his eyes. "Anna … Lloyd …" He whispered, a pained tone entering his voice. Yuan's question about Lloyd possibly living had stirred a set of hidden emotions and a strand of hope in him, but he was trying desperately to push it out of his mind. How could Lloyd have lived? The cliff was a fifty foot drop, and Lloyd was only three …. Drawing a shaky breath, Kratos buried his face in his hands, engulfed in the mental images that he held so precious. There was his Anna, his love and the one who had brought him back to his senses after nearly four thousand year of immortal apathy, to _love_.

And then there was Lloyd, their child. Kratos felt a strong surge of pain race through him. The love he held for Anna was strong, undoubtedly so, but the emotions he had for his son … if he had merely lost Anna, Kratos knew that he would have recovered, as he would still have Lloyd to look after and raise. But to lose Anna and Lloyd both …it was pure torture. Even the small, fragile hope that he had of Lloyd possibly surviving the fall had begun to fade.

"_You were right by Iselia …"_ Kratos felt a guilty needle stab at his chest. Yuan was right: someone from Iselia could have taken Lloyd in and was raising him as their child, with none the wiser. The hope in him began to grow, but he quickly shook his head and closed his eyes. "No … even if Lloyd is alive … if I were to go see him now, with this illness ravaging me … that would be too cruel."

"It would be even crueler if you died without telling him why." Yuan's voice commented sharply from behind Kratos, making the auburn nearly fall off of his sofa in shock. Turning to look, he stared at Yuan as the younger angel approached him. There seemed to be a distracted look in his eyes, but once he was close enough to look Kratos dead in the eye, those deep emerald eyes cleared and focused right on Kratos. "Have you ever thought that what you're doing right now is selfish?" Yuan asked sharply, and if it weren't for the fact that he was unusually tired, Kratos would have flinched.

"Is it selfish of me to hide when I could possibly pass this illness to someone else?" Kratos asked softly, voice hoarse and tired, the chills ravaging his body fiercely. Shaking his head to push aside some of the fatigue pestering him, he looked at Yuan. "You shouldn't even be here, Yuan."

"I'll be fine." Yuan dismissed Kratos' comment with an irritated wave of a hand. "My father was a war medic, remember? I wouldn't be able to catch your illness if you tried." Looking down at the thought, Yuan whispered softly, "Although, in all honesty, it isn't fair that you should have to go through this. What all have you done differently than any other warrior that would justify this?" Kratos, about to let out a dark laugh at the comment, choked, and covered his mouth with a hand as he began to cough again. Yuan flinched slightly, but compared to how many others would have reacted, it was mild.

Thankfully, the attack was brief, but even so, Kratos found himself inexplicably tired. Staring blankly at the blood on his hand, he glanced at Yuan for only a moment before sighing. "Yuan … why did you come here?" He asked softly, not trying to be aggressive or angry. Yuan gave him a worried look before closing his eyes: now that he was here, it was taking a lot of his willpower not to blurt out what he had discovered. Knowing Kratos like he did, it was very likely that he wouldn't believe him.

However, beating around the bush would do Yuan no good either. Drawing a deep breath, Yuan looked Kratos dead in the eye. "I found Lloyd." The reaction he received was immediate: Kratos' eyes shot wide open, and he stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over the book that was still lying on the floor. The look that he gave Yuan was somewhere between disbelief and pain, prompting Yuan into asking softly, "Have I ever been one who would use a loved one as a lever?" Kratos paused, but then shook his head, but he still looked away, clearly distressed.

"Yuan, how could you be certain it was … that it was Lloyd you found?" He asked, eyes downcast as he spoke, although the frail hope had returned again: it showed in his dim red eyes. When Yuan didn't respond right away, Kratos was about to sigh and shake his head, when he noticed that Yuan was pointing at his face. Specifically, his eyes. "What …??" confused, Kratos blinked once or twice, mentally cursing the fatigue that was making his mind sluggish.

"It's the eyes, Kratos. I've never met anyone else in the world that has _red_ eyes." Yuan commented simply, slightly worried that Kratos was being so slow: it was incredibly out of character for him. Once the thought had registered, however, a bright glow came to Kratos' eyes, making it seem like there was nothing haunting him. The glow lasted only a minute though before Kratos sighed and shook his head, eyes closing.

"No … I can't go." He said making Yuan throw up his hands in exasperation and confusion. Still not making eye contact with his younger friend, Kratos turned around and gazed down at the floor, voice choked with pain as he forced himself to say the words that formed despite his brain's protests. "If I go to him … I'd be cursing him. Yuan, if Lloyd is fine and happy, then what right do I have to go and ruin that happiness?"

"You're his _father!_ He _misses_ you, dammit!" Yuan cursed, and although he wasn't completely certain that Lloyd was looking for his missing parent, Kratos didn't know that. "Will you forsake all of your fate gibberish and just go see him!? Just once!?" he was begging: Yuan knew he was begging, but Kratos was being so stubborn about this that he couldn't stop himself from resorting to a desperate plea. "Please … just go see him …" Kratos didn't respond vocally, but he stubbornly shook his head, and before Yuan could make any response, he walked into the deeper rooms of his chambers, shutting the door behind him.

Letting out a frustrated noise, Yuan spun around and warped away, arriving at the Renegade base in Triet. "THAT IDIOT!" He shouted, collapsing into his desk chair ungraciously. His right hand man, Botta, glanced up briefly before shaking his head.

"I take it Kratos didn't believe you?" He asked gently, knowing that Yuan would be more than ready to pulverize something at the moment: there was lightning racing up and down the elemental's form, and his emerald eyes were snapping.

"Oh, he believed me, he just refuses to go and see Lloyd himself." Yuan said bitterly, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, feet braced on his desk. "Cross grained, emotionally repressed, pessimistic, hopeless, moronic HUMAN! Does he really want to die alone and secluded up there in that hellhole that he calls home?!" Yuan began to rant, unaware that Botta had begun to back away from him, worry clearly evident in his eyes as the lightning racing over Yuan's form sparked and leaped. "His loneliness is going to kill him at this rate, not his illness!! " Yuan finally beat both of his fists against the desk, a small lightning bolt striking the desk, making Botta physically jump away from him.

His rage suddenly draining, Yuan let out a moan and buried his face in his hands, elbows on his desk. "What bullshit has Mithos been plaguing him with when my back's been turned, to make him think that he has no right to check on his only child?" He asked softly, voice weary. "If it's anything along the lines of punishment for defying the rules of Cruxis, I'm going to KILL that monstrous brat. I wouldn't put it past him to use Kratos' family against him …" Shuddering at the thought, Yuan shook his head. "I just don't know what to do anymore … I feel so … so hopeless, dammit! Kratos was my closest friend, he's always been there … and all I can do now is stand aside and watch him die!"

Botta remained silent, not wanting to make Yuan's dilemma any more painful than it already was. The Renegades would see an opportunity in Kratos' death, and none of them had any bonds with Kratos at all, which only seemed to be frustrating Yuan even more. With a grunt, the tall half-elf stood, paperwork in hand. Walking out of the room, he halted to look at Yuan. "Give him time, Yuan: perhaps he'll come around after a while." He stated, making Yuan look up at him through his spread fingers; confusion and sorrow swam in the deep emerald pools, to which Botta said softly, "How would you react if you just found out that someone you believed dead was alive and well again? Such shock takes time to recover from and adjust to." Yuan paused, and then nodded in acceptance, prompting Botta to leave the room.

Once he was alone, however, Yuan sighed and shook his head, voice rich with pain as he whispered to himself, "Time's the one thing he doesn't have a lot of …" Closing his eyes, Yuan began to rub his forehead. "Kratos, just for once, ignore the pain you could cause others and just do what your instincts are saying … Just once …"

(Welgaia)  
Kratos laid in bed, staring out at the few stars that he could see through the violet and black haze of Derris-Kharlan. The tiny orbs of white light blazed out hopefully against the darkness around them, clearly reflecting the emotions running rampant in the angel at the moment. There was despair and pain, a longing to vanish from the world that he felt he had abandoned so many centuries ago. The resurgence of his illness, while it wasn't welcome completely did promise to eventually remove him from his damnable existence, drowning him in blood.

But, at the same time, there was hope. When Yuan had told him that Lloyd was alive and hidden from Cruxis, his old strength had returned, as did the joy he had only felt when with his wife and child. A large part of him had wanted to go down to where Lloyd was and at least _see_ him: he would be turning five soon, if his grip on time hadn't escaped him completely yet. A smile flickered briefly at Kratos' mouth at the thought of watching his child grow, even if only for a little while.

Then his illness had begun to rear its bloodied head again, shattering most of the hope that he had felt. How could he even think of going near Lloyd now, he wondered. He could easily pass the disease to Lloyd if he wasn't careful, and unless Yuan had managed to find the right mixture that was needed to prepare the vaccination – it had been lost during the Kharlan War, unfortunately – there was no possible way that Lloyd could avoid catching the illness.

Besides by not seeing his father at all, of course.

Sighing heavily, Kratos closed his eyes, a hand grasping at his locket as he drifted off to sleep, trying to fight off the fever that hand randomly assaulted him not too long ago.

_The fields were dark as Kratos looked around, confusing him. Not even his angelic eyesight, which was able to pierce even the gloom that permeated the Temple of Darkness, could make anything out in this place … wherever it was. Worried, Kratos began to walk forward, only to stop as the sound of splashes reached his ears. Looking down, the faintest highlight of a ripple caught Kratos' eye, making him stare: was he walking in water? Determined to find out exactly where he was, he started forward again, mildly unnerved by the splashes that followed his steps. _

_A sudden, earsplitting screech of two slabs of steel grinding against one another made him whip around, trying to identify where the horrifying sound had come from. Left, then right … Kratos saw nothing, nor heard anything other than a distant dripping of water, some distance ahead. Hoping that he would find light at the location of the dripping noise, he turned around again and walked towards it, alert now for anything that might possibly come towards him._

_The steel grating noise came again, louder this time, and from all around. Spinning around once again, Kratos could now see the dim outline of walls. They were slimy and made out of steel, if the grating was anything to go by. Beginning to feel unnerved, he turned around and began to walk quickly towards the dripping noise. A third grating made him begin to pick up the pace, and after a fourth, he was resisting the urge to sprint towards the dripping. _

_There was light coming up, but it still wasn't enough from him to see by. A fifth grating of steel, this one not only far louder but far closer than the rest, made Kratos fall face forward into the liquid that he had been walking in. Propping himself up on his hands and knees, Kratos shook his head to clear some of it from his face as he straightened up again; he tasted copper and salt. Convincing himself that he was hallucinating – if hallucinating during a nightmare was even physically possible, he straightened and raced towards the light, desperation kicking in at long last._

_Upon finally reaching the light, Kratos stopped and stared, horror clearly written over his face. The source of the dripping liquid came from a _body_, and the liquid around him was blood. Shuddering fiercely, Kratos struggled to look away from the body that was bleeding so much, but was unable to tear his eyes away from it as who it was finally registered in his brain._

_Anna._

_The steel grated once more, incoherently loud and from all around him. Spinning, Kratos found himself trapped, the slimy steel walls enclosing him on all sides as something large and dark approached him from the hallway he had just been down, dragging something alongside it. Each step was heavy, and whenever the object beside it was dragged along, it produced the loud grating sound that Kratos had been hearing the entire time. _

_The only way out was to somehow manage to climb out through the hole that Anna's body rested nearby. About ready to jump up and clamber out of the hole, Kratos found himself sharply jerked back down into the ankle deep river of blood. Coming up again, he coughed, expelling the coppery liquid from his mouth as he struggled to see what had pinned him down. When he saw that there was nothing, he attempted to flee again, but was stopped as another force grabbed his other ankle and his right arm. Looking, he could now see that there were bloodied hands rising out of the sea, holding him down as the large shape lurched even closer, the steel it held in its hand grating even louder._

_Another hand jerked, and Kratos found himself face down in the pool again. Struggling wildly, he attempted to get his face out of it, his mouth opening in an ill-timed scream as blood seeped into his throat …_

"_KRATOS!" _The shout of his name jerked Kratos sharply back into reality, and before he could register anything, he was coughing again, clutching at his throat. After a moment, the attack ceased, and Kratos was able to register that he was still in his room, lying down on his bed. A quick feel of the sheets revealed them to be soaked through with sweat – from the nightmare or the illness, Kratos couldn't tell – and the pillow near him was stained black from the blood he had exhaled.

Looking up, Kratos found that Yuan was in the room with him, clearly terrified. "I came up here to check on you, and when I heard you moaning … I panicked, and you wouldn't get up no matter how much I shook you. You started coughing up blood in your sleep!" He exclaimed in a breathless rush, a shaking hand brushing cobalt blue bangs from his eyes. Kratos sat up and stared at Yuan as the younger one gave him a worried look with his scared emerald eyes. "What all was going on? You screamed out in horror near the end of it …"

"… you said that you knew where Lloyd was?" Kratos asked, ignoring the last statement. Yuan, startled, only managed to nod as Kratos rose and took off his bloodied Cruxis uniform and exchanged it for the dark purple and lavender mercenary outfit he wore on the worlds. Pulling on the clean clothes, Kratos turned to Yuan again, pain, horror and hope all present in his eyes. "Please … take me to him."

_

* * *

O.o That nightmare sequence… that reminds me of Silent Hill two … _

_Anyway, yes, Kratos is dying of Tuberculosis, TB, Consumption, Lung fung, or whatever else you call it. And yes, there is a vaccine for it. It's just that right now, the worlds of Sylvarant and Tethe'alla don't know what all is in it, as it was lost – along with most other medicinal knowledge – at the end of the Kharlan War. _

_But anyway, so Kratos and Lloyd are going to have a reunion next chapter! :D And then the really torturous part of the story will begin. D:_

_Onto the reviews before I depress anyone else!!_

_**SaKaMo (anon): **__Yes, I'm sorry, but this is going to be another rather depressing story._

_**Lupanari:**__ I'm glad you're looking forward to what is coming up still in this story, no matter how depressing it gets. Trust me, if this idea hadn't interested me, I wouldn't be writing it._

_**Droaerion: **__Well, since you already know how I reacted to the title, I've got nothing else to say. XD And I agree, where is Raine with her ressurection spell when you need it the most?_

_**I.K.A. Valian:**__ Tell me, friend, have I ever let you down with a silly killing before?? XD I don't even think I KNOW how to write a 'silly killing' in all honesty. And don't worry, I have something up my sleeve to keep little Lloydie from getting sick … X3_

_**Baby Kat Snophlake:**__ Now did I ever say anything about Mithos NOT knowing about the illness?? It's been repressed for the past four thousand years, but that doesn't mean he didn't know about it before hand …_

_**Acriym:**__ I'm sorry that this story's so depressing. But thank you for the title suggestion while I was still working on this story!_

_**Dragoness-of-Air13:**__ You have so many wonders! XD I can't tell you much more than that Lloyd's been with Dirk for a little over a year without giving away any spoilers … XD And don't worry, Yuan's going as fast as he can!_

_Until next time then!! Ja ne!_


	3. Fate can be a bitch

_Lessone #3: Fate has been proven to have a very fickle nature, and it seems to have little trouble with being cruel._

Kratos glanced behind him at the deep forest, his mind working away furiously as he wondered what all had possessed him recently. While he wasn't completely certain that his nightmare had been a premonition, it was more than likely a portent of the suffering that would await him if he didn't go and see his son. 'Lloyd …' the name made Kratos sigh in a mixture of pain and happiness. That Lloyd was alive and well made him grateful, but the fact that he was dying when he was so young made him want to grit his teeth and scream in frustration. 'I have to see him, if at least only once …' Kratos told himself, shaking away the nagging sense of guilt that was starting to build in his chest.

Yuan must've noticed, because he turned back to look at Kratos with a soft gaze. "Don't worry about it, Kratos. I'm certain that you'll at least be able to see Lloyd." He said softly, placing a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder and giving him a shaky smile. "Even if you don't want to hurt yourself or him, you'll at least be able to see him again. That's got to mean something, doesn't it?" Kratos looked at Yuan softly, and gave him a weary smile; Yuan had been trying his best to help ease the pain, even though he had no real need to do so. Reaching up, he grasped the hand that squeezed his shoulder, noticing at once how much warmer Yuan's hand was to his chilled body.

"Thank you, Yuan …" He whispered softly, before moving on ahead into the forest. "Which way is it to him, Yuan?" He asked, making Yuan run up so that he was in the lead again, leading Kratos over a small creek. The faint smell of burning wood and molten metal reached the two angels' noses, carried on a soft breeze, and Yuan smiled to himself; they were almost there, and Kratos hadn't had an attack yet. As they came out of the deeper part of the forest, Yuan turned to look at Kratos again, and instantly grew worried. Normally rather pale, Kratos was now a sickly white color, his tan barely visible; the illness was progressing sharply, if he was so pale so soon after it had resurfaced.

'I'm glad he came to his senses so soon …' Yuan thought as they continued to walk, biting the inside of his cheek. 'I don't think Kratos even has a year left in him. … hopefully, meeting Lloyd will help him get at least slightly stronger …' Smiling, Yuan picked up the pace slightly, making sure that he wasn't straining Kratos too much; they had already stopped when he had gotten fatigued twice before. "We're almost there: I can faintly see the house's roof." Yuan stated, pointing at a thin, blurry line of grey and green that slanted at an angle against the thicker, older trees of the northern half of the forest. Kratos perked slightly, and he hastened his pace as well, an eagerness lightning up his face in a way that it hadn't in years.

Soon, the small stream that ran from the creek in the forest came into view, the small wood bridge over it leading the two to the small, two story house that Dirk lived in, a small plume of smoke rising up from the chimney. A string ran from the second floor balcony to a nearby sapling, clothing hanging from it, shadowing a small alcove with a gravestone in it. A bench and a stump of wood sat near the stream, and as Yuan crossed the bridge, he wasn't too shocked to hear Noishe let out his whine as he trotted over from where he had been lying in the sun, a large bone in his mouth. "Hey you, did you see me coming?" Yuan asked, petting the large creature as it butted its head against his chest again.

Kratos, still standing on the other side of the stream, stared in shock: Noishe was here?? A smile quirked at his lips a second later; if Noishe was here, then Lloyd definitely was, as Kratos had given Noishe instructions to look after Lloyd if they were to all be separated. Noishe must've seen him, for he let out a loud, happy bark and raced over to where Kratos stood, his large plumed tail wagging happily as he reached the tall man. Reaching out to pet him, Kratos knelt so that he was hidden behind Noishe's bulk as a small, stout dwarf and a young child came out of the house.

Glancing at the child, Kratos felt his heart twist at the sight; it was Lloyd, alright, his unruly brown hair spiking every which way and falling into his face, his red eyes bright and wide as he came closer to where Yuan was standing, hiding slightly behind Dirk as he did so. He was wearing a pair of blue shorts and a pale green shirt, both of which were grass stained and streaked with dirt. Kratos smiled again, and began to rub Noishe's neck as the large dog looked over his shoulder and let out a happy whine, tail wagging again. He seemed to be encouraging Lloyd to come over to where he was, as Yuan and Dirk were talking together about something.

"Silly Noshii, what you doing over there?" Lloyd called out, laughing as Noishe whined again, his tail wagging faster. "Did you find something to play with?" The small child asked again, walking closer, his feet bare. It was then that he noticed that the space in front of Noishe was oddly colored. "Noshii, what's be'ind you, you silly doggy?" Lloyd asked, a bit of caution leaking into his voice as he stepped closer. Kratos, still kneeling behind Noishe and out of Lloyd's vision, felt his breath catch as one of his legs fell asleep on him. The unexpected numbness in his leg made Kratos pitch over backwards with a startled shout, making Lloyd halt. Yuan and Dirk also turned to look, Dirk with a look of unease on his face while Yuan seemed surprised. Lloyd, however, was startled, his eyes wide in his face as he came closer, seemingly recognizing the voice that had uttered the noise.

" …. Da …" He began, but then stopped, apparently nervous. Kratos began to push himself up again, glancing at Lloyd. The boy's voice caught, and he pelted as fast as he could towards Kratos, smiling as widely as he could. "DADDY!!" A smile lit up Kratos' face, and he sat up just enough so that he could catch Lloyd as the young child leapt at him, laughing as the light impact knocked him backwards again, arms wrapped tightly around Lloyd as the boy began to hug him, crying 'daddy' over and over again as Noishe barked happily, his tail wagging as he promptly began to wash the two with his tongue, earning several shouts of 'stop it' amongst the laughs.

Yuan couldn't help but smile in relief at the sight; this felt like how it was supposed to be. A glance over at the hidden gravestone told him all that he needed to know. "You've been looking after Lloyd for a year and a half, right?" He asked Dirk, who nodded as he watched Kratos and Lloyd get reacquainted, Lloyd's tiny arms still wrapped tightly around Kratos' neck. Smiling in return, Yuan stated softly, "It's good to see them like this again; Kratos looked like he was ready to die when he lost him." It was the truth, and a quick glance at Kratos' face made Yuan blink in confusion; although the deathly pallor was still there, a lot of color had returned to his face the instant Lloyd had tackled him. 'That's almost too unreal …' Yuan thought to himself, but decided to push it to the back of his mind as Kratos stood up, Lloyd still in his arms as the boy pointed towards Anna's gravestone.

When Kratos saw the gravestone before him, he felt his gaze soften and he reached out with one hand to trace the name etched into the marble surface. "Anna … I miss you, love …" he whispered gently, hugging Lloyd close to his body with one arm as Lloyd snuggled into his side, warmth radiating off of his tiny body. Feeling the warmth and the minimal weight against his heart made Kratos smile, and he leaned his head against Lloyd's. "And what sort of mischief have you been up to without me around to keep my eyes on you?" He teased lightly, making Lloyd giggle and grin up at his father's face.

"puzzles!" He crooned, clapping his hands together. "Uncl Dirk makes lots and lots and lots of puzzles! And Noshii likes to play fetch, and I get to work with Uncl Dirk when I'm big enough, and I get to go into town with him, and we get to make blankets out of fuzzy bunnies, and, and …" Kratos full heartedly laughed at that as he sat down in front of the stone, settling Lloyd into his lap. The little boy grinned up at his father as his hair was ruffled, and he commented, "And I've been missing you. Why were you gone so long? Did you get lost?" Kratos winced at that, and he sighed heavily.

"I … I guess you could say that, Lloyd." He sighed and looked away, "When I had finished … chasing away the bad men and came to look for you … all I found was dead bodies, so I thought I had … lost you." Kratos looked at Lloyd with agony as he spoke, leaning against Anna's gravestone. "Like I lost your mother …" Guilt surged up through Kratos again; he should have looked, curse it all. If he had looked for Lloyd instead of assuming him dead, then perhaps … perhaps then Kratos wouldn't be worrying about the limited amount of time he and Lloyd had together, and they would be enjoying their lives. "I'm sorry I … didn't look for you." Kratos sighed, shaking his head as he gave Lloyd another hug.

"It's okay; you were scared like me." Lloyd replied softly as he hugged his father. Kratos winced at that, but he didn't say anything that would ruin the moment. After a while, he and Lloyd just settled into a peaceful silence, Noishe beginning to nap at Kratos' feet. Lloyd eventually began to drift off to sleep as well, snuggled up to Kratos. Kratos himself was smiling in contentment, watching the clouds above him and Lloyd as he ran a hand through his son's wild brown hair, nearly forgetting what had driven him to come here. As Yuan and Dirk wandered inside the house to talk and have tea, Kratos sighed and closed his eyes as well.

'It's so peaceful here …' Kratos thought to himself, a smile creeping onto his face. 'if all life could be like this, then perhaps I wouldn't be so concerned about death …' his mood darkening for a second, Kratos soon banished the though and opened his eyes, shocked to find that the sun had moved in the sky, and that Lloyd was sitting up straight, staring at him with a wide smile on his face. Unable to resist, Kratos smiled back. "And just what're you planning on doing now, Lloyd?" He asked.

His answer was a playful poke and Lloyd leaping off of his lap to stand up and start running. "You're it, Daddy!" He laughed loudly, running around the small yard while Kratos sat there with a shocked look on his face, his mind trying to register what Lloyd had just done. After a few moments, however, his smile returned to dominate his features and eyes, and he stood up and began to chase after Lloyd, lightly telling the young boy to 'stand still' while Lloyd laughed and ran as fast as his small stubby legs could, continuously turning around quickly and even dashing between Kratos' legs at one point. The laughs filled the air as the innocent game eventually crossed over the tiny little bridge and ended with Kratos picking up Lloyd from behind and spinning him around in the air, both of them laughing loudly.

It was then that the first shockwaves of pain shot through Kratos' body, making him wince and stop, involuntarily lowering Lloyd closer to the ground. Lloyd, noticing the dramatic shift in such a short span of time, looked up in Kratos in worry. "Daddy, what's wrong?" He asked quietly, eyes wide with worry as Kratos placed him on the ground and backed up a few spaces, wincing as a second wave of pain shot through him, centering in his lungs. "Daddy?" Lloyd's next question made Kratos flinch in horror and cover his mouth as the attack started, the strangled cough that left him bringing up more blood than it should have. As Kratos hit his knees, Lloyd cried out in horror, waking Noishe up.

Inside the house, Yuan and Dirk knew something was wrong the moment Noishe started barking. While Dirk was more startled, Yuan was horrified, and he shot out of his chair so quickly it toppled over. "SHIT!" He exclaimed, racing out of the house and running to where Kratos and Lloyd were, clearly seeing that the small boy was terrified out of his life. Yuan barely noticed Dirk following him as he reached Kratos and tried to steady his friend before he fell over, his stomach dropping out when he saw how bad the attack was. 'Oh no … no no no no no …' He cursed mentally as Dirk came up and tried to calm down Lloyd, who was frantically trying to reach out to Kratos, tears starting to form in his eyes. Yuan felt the first sharp pangs of guilt strike him; if he hadn't pushed Kratos so much, then Lloyd wouldn't have to witness his father dying …

After a moment, however, Kratos' attacked ceased, and Kratos leaned into Yuan, chest heaving as he tried to get as much air into his lungs as he could. Dirk gave the auburn a look. "Ye nee' rest." He said simply, although it was clear that he was concerned about what was wrong. Kratos looked at the dwarf meekly through his eyes and nodded, and allowed Dirk to lead him into the small house, Noishe whining loudly out of concern and walking alongside Kratos, acting as a warm support. This left Yuan and Lloyd alone in the clearing, with the latter still confused and horrified, his eyes filled up with tears.

Seeing such, Yuan walked over and cradled Lloyd in his arms, being gentle as the boy looked up at him. "What's wrong with Daddy?!" He demanded, tiny voice filled with so much pain that Yuan felt a swarm of guilt fill him up inside, choking him. He was so stupid … Lloyd didn't seem to notice, because he went on with, "I didn't do it! We were playing and he … he just started coughing and … and and there was that red water and … and I don't know if Daddy's okay!" with a final wail, Lloyd broke down and buried his face in Yuan's shirt, unaware of the utter pain that showed on Yuan's face.

'I feel disgusting.' Yuan thought to himself, letting Lloyd soak his shirt as he cried. 'would things have been better if I had let Kratos die without seeing Lloyd at all, and Lloyd grew up secluded and happy, and would eventually come to realize his father had died as well as he grew older. 'But NO, I had to go soft at the wrong moment and insisted on having them reunite …' Yuan thought with spite, rubbing Lloyd's back gently. Sighing, he looked around, spying the small garden that Dirk kept on one of the window sills. 'He needs to gather those herbs, they look about …' Yuan cut himself off, a light going off in his head. THAT was it; he'd been trying to figure out the vaccination for Kratos' illness for a few centuries now, and while he knew most of what was needed – he had read his father's notes several times over – he had never been able to figure out what he was missing to make it work.

But, he sighed and shook his head, he didn't think it was fair to leave Lloyd and Dirk in the dark about what was going on, although he was fairly certain that Dirk had figured it out already. Looking down at Lloyd, Yuan sighed. "Lloyd, Daddy is … very sick." He began gently, not knowing how to best explain things to such a young child. "I don't think he'll get better, but he's still happy to see you …" Lloyd's only response was to whimper mutely, making Yuan look at him gently; the boy's eyes were closed, and he seemed to be asleep, but he still somehow managed to weep in his sleep. With a pained noise, Yuan stood up and carried Lloyd into the house just as Dirk came out of a spare room. "How is he?" he asked gently, not wanting to wake Lloyd. Dirk gave a heavy sigh.

"Sleepin' righ' now, but he managed te clean up slightly." The dwarf commented, rubbing his temples. "How much time doe' he have lef'?" He asked, looking at Lloyd gently. Yuan sighed and grimaced, not fully able to express how little time Kratos had left. Dirk interpreted the body language right, because he gave Lloyd a gentle look. "I see … I'll be fine, the wors' I'll get is a bad hea'cold, but Lloyd …" Yuan brightened at that, and gave Dirk as gentle a look as he could.

"I know of a way that could help Lloyd, but I still need to get something." He stated, setting Lloyd down gently onto the nearest chair and gave Dirk a knowing look. "You can keep them both here long enough, can't you? It won't take long, hopefully." He asked, to which Dirk nodded. Smiling gratefully, Yuan clasped Dirk on the shoulder and turned around and walked hastily out of the house before warping away to Tethe'alla; he needed to speak with the Storyteller.

* * *

_D: I was crying as I wrote this chapter … Lloyd and Kratos get such a tender moment, only for this to happen … I'm so cruel. But before anyone asks, there will be no yaoi in this story! there will be brotherly love if anything, and that'll take a while to develop._

_and I apologize if Yuan seems OOC, but this story is kind of meant to be slightly OOC. Kratos is _dying_ after all, and while Yuan might not be afraid of that in the game, he was the one who was threatening Kratos' life. This time, it's a disease, and Yuan isn't as concerned about stopping the Chosen of Mana as he is about his friends condition. Cause we all know Kratos most likely went a little loco after he lost Anna and Lloyd, and now that he's dying, Yuan's probably going to want to keep as close to him as possible._

_Hell, Kratos was probably the one who made sure Yuan's sanity stayed intact after he lost Martel ..._

_but anyway, it's 1:05 AM in MI, and I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, and review please.  
_


	4. Guilt: the ultimate reality check

_Lessone #4: Guilt, whether necessary or not, seems to make the pain even worse._

* * *

High above both Sylvarant and Tethe'alla, Yggdrasil lounged in his throne room, lazing in his throne in a decidedly non-regal position. Such didn't truly matter, for nobody else was in the throne room to bother him … save for the annoying, whiny voice that had been his former self, the hero Mithos, the part of him that had died with Martel. Right now, however, Yggdrasil wasn't bothering the lighter half of his being, and was instead plotting on what to do to discourage Kratos from ignoring his summons in the future.

Deep inside his psyche, Mithos was attempting to rally against his darker half's thoughts. "_Something might seriously be wrong with Sensei!"_ He hollered at Yggdrasil, who simply ignored him, continuing to plot out his punishment. The train of thought Yggdrasil's plans were going along made Mithos cry out in agony and try to shove his will through again, only to be crippled by the same thought Yggdrasil held against him; if he killed Yggdrasil, Martel would never come back.

'Martel wouldn't want this, she'd be crying so hard …' Mithos thought to himself, curling up into a little ball. _'She'd be heartbroken, and it's all because you're being so cruel! These humans had nothing to do with her dying! How could you do this?! That's probably why Sensei left! He left because he was disgusted with you!' _even though if one were to look at Yggdrasil, they would simply assume that the male had lost his mind after the loss of Martel, his obsessive nature proof of his insanity. In truth, in the aftermath of Martel's death, Mithos had become schizophrenic, his gentler half being dominated by the darkness known as Yggdrasil. He still struggled to make his voice heard, but so far, Yggdrasil had consumed Mithos, making him truly dead to the world. Mithos let out a soft whimper at this, curling into an even tighter ball, his pastel-rainbow wings wrapping around him in a cocoon like fashion.

'_Kratos …please, be alright … I don't need another precious person dying.'_

* * *

Down on Tethe'alla, Yuan had managed to reach the home of the elven storyteller who lived in Latheron gorge when he stopped, briefly hesitant. What if the storyteller refused him the mana leaf herb? Looking down at the earth, Yuan sighed heavily to himself and rubbed his temples briefly before going to knock on the door. To his shock, it opened, revealing the short, wizened form of the storyteller, his deep grey eyes pale and nearly clouded over from blindness. "So you have finally arrived, Yuan Kai Fei." The elf spoke up, his voice rusty and cryptic as he spoke. "I was wondering if you would arrive. Come, we have things to discuss."

Yuan stood there, baffled for a few moments before he walked into the house, ignoring the creaking gears that loomed overhead. To his shock, the Storyteller led him to a small table, a kettle of tea whistling as it hung over a small fire. Sitting down when he was invited to, Yuan stared at the wood grain of the table while the Storyteller finished the tea and poured it into two small cups. Taking a sip from the tea, Yuan drew a deep breath. "If you knew I was coming ... you should know what I came here for." He stated solemnly making the Storyteller look briefly at him as he took a drink of tea.

"Even if I did not, the one who you come for would have been enough." The elderly elf sighed hoarsely, and then set his cup down to stare at the liquid. "… You do realize that it is too late to save him, do you not? The illness has gained strength as he has, and now with his will weakened … it will consume him completely." Yuan stared down at his tea in response, biting the inside of his cheek; he didn't doubt that his hands were trembling greatly, but it wouldn't help anyone if he broke down.

"I know I can't save Kratos … I didn't come here because I wanted to try and save him." He stated after a moment, wincing at the guilt that leaked into his voice. "… I came because I want to help his son." The Storyteller's barely visible eyebrows arched, his pale eyes widening a small fraction.

"So the rumors that a heretic was born were true?" The Storyteller took another sip of his tea before continuing on. "I had seen in the stars that an unprecedented event had taken place, that an unusual child would be born. I did not think that such would be so … unexpected. To think that Kratos Aurion … the most loyal of the Four Seraphim … the fact alone that he has betrayed Cruxis is astounding, but having a child …" A pause, and then, "And the son's mother?"

"Human." Yuan stated blithely, jade eyes narrowing sharply. "He was forced to kill her …" Suddenly uninterested in tea, Yuan stood up and leaned on the table, staring at the Storyteller. "You know what I need, please let me have it! I might not be able to save Kratos, but at least I can make things easier on him by keeping him from worrying about his son. The herb's the last thing …" As he spoke, the all too clear memory of Lloyd's face at that moment came back to Yuan, guilt leaking into him despite his wishes for it to leave him at least some peace. "Lloyd's going through enough as it is …. I don't think it would be fair for him to risk getting the illness … or to not be able to say goodbye to his father when the time does come."

"Lloyd, is that the child's name?" The Storyteller chuckled lightly in his throat. "'The one whom shall endure' … Kratos named him well." Yuan stared at the Storyteller for a few seconds, confused. As if sensing Yuan's confusion, the old elf smiled thinly. "Lloyd is an ancient word … or perhaps a fraction of a word would be best. The full world truly meant 'the one whom shall endure', but over the centuries, the elves shortened that name down to Lloyd. It seems that Kratos had a wish for his son's future in mind …" Standing creakily, the Storyteller walked over to an old book, opening it to a page. "Your father knew what he was doing when he taught you his medicine skills. It only stands to reason that you would eventually arrive here." Yuan didn't respond to the mention of his father, and instead focused his gaze on the table.

After a moment of quiet shuffling, the Storyteller returned with a sprig of herbs in one hand and a small leaf from an unknown herb in another. "The Mana Leaf herb, as you need it for the vaccine." Yuan took the herbs gently from the Storyteller as the elf spoke, running his fingers over the soft green leaves. Cruxis had a small supply of the herb, but it was restricted to be used in the making of Rune Crests alone, and there was very little of it as things stood. When he saw that the elf still held the unknown herb, Yuan looked at it cautiously, and then up at the man himself. Blurry, bottomless grey eyes stared at Yuan for a long moment. "This will ease his pain, if only slightly. Serve it as tea; that's the only way that it can be ingested by a human, even one whose blood is thick with Aionis." Yuan stared for a moment, but then nodded and grasped the herb tightly in his hands. About to open his mouth to thank the elf, he realized that he couldn't, and instead bowed lightly before storing the herbs in his pack and running out of the cottage, warping away as soon as he left the storyteller's line of vision.

Inside the cottage, the old elf chuckled to himself and sipped from his tea again. "So … the blood of the warlords is still running thick in that child's veins … then Flamberge will still burn with the heat of the flames it was made from. That is good." He murmured to himself, swirling the liquid around its container as another chuckle left him. "So the life of the God of War comes to an end … without his seal on Origin, how will Yggdrasil keep his stranglehold on Sylvarant and Tethe'alla for much longer? The one whom shall endure will not be easily dissuaded …"

* * *

It was the following evening when Kratos finally awoke again; his illness had fatigued him greatly, it seemed. Groaning, he sat up, startled to find his blankets soaked with sweat and yet piled up at his feet; he was chilled greatly. "how long have I .." he asked weakly, looking around the small room. His hearing could faintly pick up sneezing in the other room (obviously Dirk), and a faint shuffling above his head suggested that Lloyd slept on the second floor. A sharp jab of pain in his chest and a sudden surge of blood in his throat made Kratos gag, hand rapidly covering his mouth as he coughed again, blood collecting in the palm of his cupped hand. Staring at it once his attack had ceased, Kratos sighed once again and wiped it clean on the already bloodied towel beside him. Thankfully, the bathroom was adjoined to the one he stayed in, so cleaning up wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

Almost as soon as the thought had crossed Kratos' mind, a knock on his door made him turn his head. "Yes?" he rasped out, coughing into the towel again to clear his throat. Looking at the door, he said clearly and yet still softly "Yes?" sitting down on the bed, Kratos was startled and yet relieved to see Yuan poking his head in the doorway, his jade eyes relieved at the sight of Kratos awake and as active as was possible. "… Yuan?" Kratos asked, blinking briefly as Yuan slid into the room and shut the door behind him, tray in hand.

Looking at Kratos softly, Yuan sighed. "Good, I caught you while you're awake. You've been out ever since I left." He stated, handing the tray to Kratos. A steaming bowl of egg drop soup – which was about the only thing Yuan could cook well – and an equally warm cup of some herbal tea or another decorated the top, and Kratos' stomach grumbled loudly for the first time in ages. Yuan waited until Kratos was hastily eating before pulling up a spare chair and sitting in front of Kratos. "I managed to get the vaccine done … and gave it to Lloyd; you don't have to be so cautious around him now." Kratos visibly relaxed at Yuan's words, not looking up from his soup. After a moment, Yuan sighed and looked up. "Even if I didn't, it doesn't really matter; Lloyd doesn't have blood."

Kratos, who had lifted the bowl to get the last of the soup, choked on both the soup and some blood that was still caught in his throat. Hastily lowering the bowl, he coughed and choked briefly to dislodge the glob from his throat. Looking up at Yuan once he had done so, Kratos shook his head in confusion. "Yuan, what're you talking about? How can Lloyd function if he has no blood?" He asked, properly confused. Yuan sighed and ran his hand through his bangs again, eyes sliding shut.

"It's hard to explain, but …" He began, sighing softly. "I don't know if it was because of a reaction between the Aionis in your bloodstream and the Angelus project or if it was caused by something else, but Lloyd's body reacted to the combination in a beneficial way; his veins are filled with raw mana. It's the same consistency and thickness as blood, but …"Yuan shook his head again. "there could be a dozen and some odd reasons as to how and why it happened, but I have no clue about any of them." Kratos sighed as he sipped the tea, dimly noticing that the pain in his chest was lessening slightly.

"And Dirk?" Kratos asked after a moment, trying to fight off the stab of guilt he felt. While dwarves did react differently to human illnesses, Kratos still felt guilty for putting Dirk through anything. He'd been taking care of Lloyd, making sure that he was doing well, giving the small boy a home … Yuan gave a soft smile.

"He's doing rather well, even for a dwarf." Yuan smiled, and Kratos sighed in relief. A tense silence filled the area for a while before Yuan sighed heavily and looked away. "You don't even have a year left in you, do you?" He asked softly. Kratos opened his mouth to speak when Yuan glared at him and cut him off. "Don't lie to me, Kratos; any dolt can see that you're dying far faster than would be natural!" Kratos flinched, but he didn't respond in any way, instead opting to meet Yuan's eyes, an expression of remorse and ageless pain in them. Yuan met Kratos' eyes for only a few seconds, but then he looked away, guilt filling him. "... I'm sorry ..." he whispered after a moment, making Kratos blink in shock.

"Why are you ..." Kratos began, knowing that perhaps the only thing rarer than Yuan apologizing was Yuan begging. After a moment, however, he sighed and shook his head. "Yuan, it's not your fault that I am dying."

"That's not what I meant ... it _is_ my fault that you and Lloyd are suffering." Yuan sank down to the floor as he spoke, green eyes locking onto his lap. "I went soft at the wrong time ... You don't deserve this ... Lloyd doesn't deserve to see you go through this ... What the hell is it with your family and being death's plaything?! Can't she find some other mortals to fuck around with?!" Yuan looked up at Kratos, feeling so utterly helpless for the first time since Martel's death. Kratos gave Yuan a gentle look, rising from the bed and sitting before him. For a few moments, the two simply looked at one another, Yuan's eyes guilty and Kratos' searching, before Yuan finally gave in and wrapped his arms tightly around Kratos' shoulders and hugged the older angel for all he was worth. "Dammit ... This isn't fair for any of us ..."

Kratos didn't respond, but internally, he was wincing. It was hard to tell that Yuan was younger than him, but there was at least three years of distance between them, possibly more; Kratos didn't know what his exact age was, due to having been placed in a cell and kept hidden since he was seven, released sometime when he was in the middle of puberty. He'd met Yuan at some point during his captivity, and when his adoptive father had found and released him from the cell, Yuan had been the first one he had reacted to. It only made sense that Yuan would worry this much ... that he would want Kratos to have at least _some_ joy before he died.

"... Your intentions were good, Yuan." Kratos assured him, hugging his friend around the shoulders. "Do not blame yourself for wanting to do something that you believed to be right; the gods know that I would have done the same if our places were reversed." Yuan didn't respond, his head still resting on Kratos' shoulder. The two remained like such for a few moments, until Kratos stiffened sharply and pulled away, covering his mouth again as another attack struck him relentlessly. Yuan sat there, silently watching, his eyes softening.

After the attack finished, Yuan shifted and pulled something out of his pocket. Looking at it for a moment, he waited until Kratos had cleaned himself slightly before extending his hand, revealing that he held the Angelus Project. "It's been sitting on Lloyd's dresser ever since Dirk took him in." He spoke gently, eyes watching Kratos' face as he took the gem in hand, eyes regaining a gentle look that Yuan knew only Anna and Lloyd had seen before. Knowing that Kratos would most likely want to be left alone, Yuan stood. "I should get going; I want to get some work done before that meeting Yggdrasil called about the next journey …" Kratos nodded with a grimace, and Yuan left the room quietly, stopping to say something to Dirk before leaving.

Kratos remained on the floor of his room, staring at the Angelus Project. This was the thing that had taken Anna's life, but at the same time, it was all that Lloyd would have left of his mother aside from the locket Kratos still wore. Even so, a large part of Kratos demanded that he destroy the thing, and yet the longer he stared at the teal gem in his hands, the less will he found in himself to destroy it. After a moment, a sigh left him, and his gaze drifted to the cyan blue Cruxis Crystal that resided on the back of his left hand. Staring at the two gems for a few seconds, Kratos felt a flicker of determination fill him as he slowly took off both the Crystal and the Key Crest, ignoring the sharp jabbing sensation in his arm and hand as the metal was removed, and the bleeding that ensued when the binding from the metal came free of his skin

Holding the Angelus project in the hand opposite of his Cruxis crystal, Kratos sighed heavily again. "Anna, please watch over Lloyd when I am gone …" He whispered, pressing the teal stone against the cyan blue one, forcing his mana through both. In a pale flash of light, the two stones merged, leaving behind a pale turquoise sphere nestled safely in the rustic reddish-gold of the Key Crest. Kratos smiled in relief, and reached up to place the Exsphere and Key Crest on the bedside table. As he lowered his arm, the door to his room slowly creaked open. Looking at it, Kratos couldn't help but smile softly at the sight of Lloyd poking his head in the doorway. "Yes Lloyd?" He asked gently, and was relieved when Lloyd slipped into the room and walked towards him.

With no pause, Lloyd sat in his father's lap and wrapped both of his tiny arms around him. "I don't wanna let you go." He said simply, making Kratos sigh and wrap both arms around him in a hug. "Pwomise you won't go away for a while?" Lloyd asked quietly, looking up at his father through teary wine red eyes. Kratos sighed and ran a hand through the child's unruly brown hair, shifting so that they were nestled more comfortably against the bed.

"I will stay here for as long as I can, Lloyd." Kratos promised the child, "but … I will have to leave you, and I won't be able to come back. …I'm sorry." Kratos sighed again, biting the inside of his cheek so that he didn't cry.

"Daddy?" Lloyd asked, looking up at his father's face with a pleading look. "Daddy, when you get to see Mommy again, tell her 'I love you' for me, okay?" Kratos, who had closed his eyes, felt them open in a rush at Lloyd's request. Glancing down at the child in his lap, Kratos felt the first tear fall, and a smile came over his face.

"I will, Lloyd, I will." He reassured him, hugging Lloyd for all that he was worth, face burying in that unruly brown hair that smelt like ginger snaps. Lloyd hugged his father back tightly, finding the will somewhere in him not to cry, even though he could feel his father's tears getting his hair wet. The two sat still for a few moments, Kratos' hand rubbing up and down Lloyd's back as he managed to regain control of himself. Once he was certain that he wouldn't break down again, Kratos sat up straight and reached for the back of his neck with both hands, Lloyd watching him from his lap.

A few seconds of fumbling later, Kratos had managed to undo the clasp of the locket, and he held it briefly in his hands before looking at Lloyd. "Hands out, Lloyd." He whispered gently, pressing the small gold pendant into Lloyd's hands when they were fully extended. "You can have this now; don't let it get broken or taken away, alright?" Kratos smiled warmly at Lloyd as the boy's face lit up at the sight of the locket. "Take good care of it." Lloyd nodded, and wrapped his arms around Kratos again.

"Can I stay here tonight?" He asked, hope shining in his face. Kratos smiled in defeat, hand wrapping around Lloyd as he stood up to sit on the bed and lean against the wall. Once he had situated himself so that both he and Lloyd had a decent view of the starry sky outside, Kratos looked down at Lloyd with a smile as the boy struggled with putting the locket around his neck.

Taking it, Kratos gently wound the chain around Lloyd's neck. "Until you fall asleep, you may stay here." He told Lloyd, lightly kissing him on the forehead, grateful that whatever blood had been in his mouth earlier in the day no longer lingered there. Lloyd smiled up at him, and nestled snugly into his father's lap as Kratos' arms wrapped around him protectively, both of them watching the night sky outside, all thoughts of death, despair and guilt instantly vanishing from Kratos' mind, even as Lloyd drifted off to sleep in his lap.

_

* * *

_

_And so the plot thickens ... Kratos now only has two chapters left to live ...  
**Kratos:** What is it with you and your obsession with killing me off?!  
*bluntly* Because unless you're softened up in a story, you're a complete and utter asshole._

_But apart from that, I will say that yes, I know that Lloyd means grey (poor kid, both of his parents are named after some sort of deity, and he's named after a freakin color XD), but I wanted it to mean something other than that in this. Yes, people seem OoC in this, but this is a drastic plot change ..._

_anyway, it's midnight, I'm tired, and I really need to stop rambling. Goodnight, everybody ...  
_


	5. And the greatest is Love

_Lessone #5: Love is ageless and all-powerful, and the effects last for all time._

_

* * *

(Six months later …)  
Kratos looked around him, briefly confused; this had been his home when he was … a glance down at him showed that he was once again fifteen, the age that Chrono had given him … Sighing, he stood up and went to the window and leaned against it, staring out at the scene before him. It was sunny, as it had been that day so many, many ageless years ago …_

"_You're concerned about how Lloyd will take your death." A gentle, distant voice commented, making Kratos blink in shock and turn around. Chrono Aurion leaned against the doorway, a habit he had always had, golden amber eyes soft as Kratos' expression changed from shocked to pained, leaning on the windowsill to stare outside again; this was a dream, he knew this, but still, Kratos didn't want Chrono to see him in this big of a mess again._

"_He's too young to go through this." He said simply, looking back at Chrono after a moment as the older male stepped into the room, the leather of his boots and fawn colored jacket stark against the pale blue and violet of the room. Once the two stood side by side, Kratos was relieved to see that even though he was in all reality taller and Chrono was dead, everything was as it had been back then, and he had to tilt his head back to meet Chrono's eyes, noticing the scar that raced down the right side of the man's face. Sighing heavily, he reached out for his father, trying to ignore the fact that his hands were obviously trembling. "At least when I lost you … I was an adult."_

"_Kratos, you were an adult when I found you in your cell." Chrono shook his head, reaching out and placing a hand on Kratos' head. "The most I did was give you something that you needed, something that every human needs."_

"_A home …?" Kratos asked, looking down at the ground, eyes filling to the brim with tears again. Unable to help himself, he wrapped both arms around Chrono and buried his face into the adult's jacket, glad that the smell of leather was still there. Chrono remained quiet, but his hand came to rest on Kratos' head again, a faint smile on his face, knowing better than to try and soothe Kratos; even as a teen, he had loathed it unless he utterly needed it, and now was not one of those times._

"_That is something I gave you, yes, but you have proven that you truly don't need a home to be content." Chrono commented, making Kratos look up at him softly. "There are plenty of people that go through life homeless, and yet they go through life content and hopeful of a brighter future … because they know that there's someone who loves them." Kratos stared at Chrono, realization dawning in his eyes as a wet smile began to break out over his face. Chrono chuckled, ruffling Kratos' hair affectionately. _

"_It still hurts, having to leave him like this." Kratos murmured after a moment, sighing. "But there's nothing I can do about that, is there? All I can do is be there long enough to let him know that I love him." Red eyes slid closed, and he chuckled in spite of himself, dimly noticing that everything was fading away …_

"You little sneak, that's cheating!" Yuan's voice seemed to be choked with laughter, making Kratos sit bolt upright in bed as he looked around. Once he finally managed to locate Yuan, he couldn't help but laugh; he was on the floor playing with Lloyd, and the young boy was sitting on Yuan's back, and was now pulling on the cobalt blue strands in front of him. Seeing that Kratos was awake, Yuan turned to him. "Kratos, help! Your spawn is pulling my hair!!" He pleaded in what most would think of as a desperate manner, but Kratos knew Yuan well enough to know that the half-elf was trying very hard not to laugh.

It seemed that Lloyd knew this as well, because he laughed as well. "I's not spawn!" He laughed, then yelped as he nearly slipped off of Yuan's shoulders, and his grip on Yuan's hair increased.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!" Yuan was in pain this time, and he reached up and grabbed Lloyd, steadying the boy so that he could drop down onto the ground. Once Lloyd had let go of his hair, Yuan undid his ponytail and quickly finger combed it out. "What is it with little kids and inhumane strength?" He asked nobody, watching with a grin as Lloyd stood up and clambered onto Kratos' mattress to hug his father, laughing and smiling. "Birthday boy or not, hair pulling is not allowed!" Yuan poked Lloyd in the side, making the child giggle.

"You're too big though!" Lloyd pointed out, giggling as Kratos hugged him tightly, happy to find that his father was actually doing good for once in the mornings. For the past few months, Kratos would take an hour to wake up, and he usually suffered an attack in order to wake up fully. The fact that he was up and awake without any fatigue or an attack was impressive in of itself. Lloyd turned to smile at his father and hugged him tightly. "Daddy, you're up! You're up!" Lloyd laughed, grinning up at Kratos as his father ruffled his hair.

"Good morning to you too, Lloyd." Kratos chuckled, a smile on his face. "Now what have I told you about picking on Yuan? You know it's not nice." He teased the child, making Lloyd laugh. Yuan rolled his eyes at that and poked Lloyd again, his hair still down. Kratos noticed this and bopped Yuan on the head. "Now, you have to behave too, you do realize." Kratos told Yuan, who stuck out his tongue and began to pull his hair up.

"He started it." Yuan said simply, as if the simple, childish excuse explained everything.

"No, you started it." Lloyd pouted and pointed at Yuan, making Kratos shake his head in amusement; in the six months that had passed since Kratos had come to live with Lloyd and Dirk, Yuan had been over almost daily, and he had formed a bond with Lloyd that was closest to brotherhood. It was good for them both in Kratos' eyes; they would need one another once he … was gone. "Daddy, tell Yuan to stop picking on me." Lloyd pouted playfully, tugging on Kratos' shirt to get his attention.

"I'm not picking on you, ya twerp!" Yuan tackled the bed and pulled Lloyd off of it, tickling him as he sat back on the floor of the room. Lloyd laughed and squirmed, trying to get Yuan to stop. Kratos sat and watched, laughing in spite of himself as Lloyd finally wriggled away from Yuan and ran to the kitchen, having heard Dirk call for him. After the child left, Yuan leaned against the bed and grinned up at Kratos. "So, you managed to get him a birthday gift?" He asked, only to laugh as Kratos rolled his eyes at him.

"Not with you guarding my bedroom door whenever I've been too stick to move, which I have been for the past month and a half, so no." Kratos replied, stretching stiff limbs as he cursed the fatigue that had all but bedridden him. Checking the blankets, Kratos sighed in relief when he found that they weren't damp from sweat; he had been so warm while he slept that it seemed odd … Sitting up, Kratos slowly stood, hating the shakiness in his limbs. "It seems so hard to believe that it's only been six months …" He murmured, leaning against the dresser.

Yuan rose and pulled his hair back, eyes worried. "Don't over exert yourself, alright? I don't think Lloyd would want you to have an attack on his birthday, and I know _you _don't want that either." Kratos nodded grimly, and then leaned against the dresser with his full weight; Yuan noticed immediately that Kratos had lost a good deal of weight. The thought made Yuan want to scream in vexation, he hated having to watch his friend go through this … Pushing the thought aside, he grinned and asked, "Should I go and fetch you food then? Lloyd's most likely going to be attached to you at the hip today." Kratos smiled and nodded, having expected that.

"It is his birthday; I never expected anything less." Kratos replied, and then his face grew dark and shadowed as he looked out the window. "As far as that goes … this will be the last birthday I will celebrate." Yuan gave Kratos a briefly confused look, and then looked away when he figured out what Kratos was saying.

"You don't think you'll last another month?" He asked gently, stepping forward and placing a hand on Kratos shoulder. The elder shook his head slowly, eyes closing as he seemed to begin to nod off again. Yuan stood there, trying to wrap his mind around the sudden revelation; Kratos just kept losing more and more time the farther into the year they got. "… I'm sorry." Yuan couldn't think of anything more to say; anything that sounded remotely like an attempt to coddle Kratos would get him a glare and a curt word or two. "… I'll go get your food now." Yuan whispered, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Once he had left, Kratos sighed in relief and slid down the side of the dresser to sit on the floor. "… I don't think I will live half a week, Yuan." He muttered sadly, closing his eyes as he clenched a hand over his heart. "It's progressed much faster than I thought … I feel like I am drowning …" Kratos bit his lip to keep himself from crying. He had to be strong, for today alone if no other time. "I don't want this … to be painful for Lloyd." Looking down at his left arm, Kratos slowly traced over the scars that decorated the pale skin. The reddish, circular scar that had come from the shackles around his wrist that had chained him to the cell Chrono had found him in stood out against the white, and even now there was still the occasional burning sensation that he felt from it.

Kratos followed his fingers as they trailed down, almost like they didn't belong to his hand. Several of the scars here he had inflicted himself, desperately trying to end his life so he could rejoin Anna and – as he had believed at the time – Lloyd in the next life. He had almost succeeded too, when Yggdrasil had caught him in the act. He hadn't been using Flamberge – the sword was solidified immortal fire, and would cauterize any wounds he inflicted – and yet the blade had been taken away as well.

"I wonder if he has found out about this yet." Kratos chuckled sardonically, shaking his head. Yggdrasil had always believed – as had Yuan – that the Aionis had smothered the disease, killing it. Martel had known better, and she had warned Kratos that unless he was cautious about it, the disease would reawaken and ravage his body again; they had been out of earshot of the other two. "If he has found out, then he will be desperately trying to find a way to keep me alive, in this agony …" Kratos shook his head and allowed his fingers to rest on the last scar on his left arm.

It seemed small, but it hadn't been a sword that had caused it; an arrow had been shot at Chrono, and Kratos had shoved him aside to protect him. The resulting arrow wound had not only sent him into pain that he couldn't fully stand, it had crippled him, rendering his once dominate hand nearly immobile. Years of training and quite a good deal of pain had made him able to mostly use it again … Curious, Kratos tried to clench his hand into a fist, but stopped when he felt searing pain race up his arm and try to aggravate his already inflamed lungs. "No … it is still beyond me …" Kratos sighed and was about to fall back asleep when Lloyd and Yuan re-entered the room, Lloyd racing over to sit in Kratos' lap.

"We've got pancakes, Daddy!" Lloyd pointed at the food as Yuan handed it to Kratos, sitting down near the two as he took a bite out of his own pancake. Lloyd grinned and began to eat rapidly once he knew that Kratos was settled, earning an amused stare from his father; true, he knew how fast Lloyd could eat, but it was still quite impressive to watch.

"It seems that I've got a little pancake monster sitting on my lap." Kratos chuckled, ruffling Lloyd's hair while he ate. Lloyd responded with a disgruntled sound that was halfway muffled by the pancake in his mouth. Yuan simply shook his head with a laugh, eating his pancakes without saying anything. Kratos smiled and shook his head, eating as much of his food as he could; he hadn't had much of an appetite these past few months, and had lost most of his weight because of it.

Once he had eaten a third of the food on his plate, Kratos set it aside and pulled Lloyd's plate away when the boy was done with his. "Now, remind me why I was woken up so early today, Lloyd." Kratos grinned, picking his son up and tickling him, earning a startled laugh. Lloyd looked at him with wide eyes while being tickled, one of his hands grabbing onto Kratos' shirt as he tried to stabilize himself.

"Daddy, it's my birthday!" Lloyd laughed, making Yuan roll his eyes as he picked up the plates and carried them out to the kitchen, knowing that Dirk had a lot of work to do today, head cold and all. Once the other male was out of the room, Lloyd turned around and hugged Kratos again. "And you get to be here too, so that makes me really, really happy." Lloyd mumbled, making Kratos smile and ruffle his hair.

"Do you want to head outside? It's a nice day out." Kratos picked Lloyd up and stood slowly, trying not to give himself a head rush. Lloyd's face brightened greatly as they headed out the door, Yuan behind them. Kratos noticed such and ruffled the boy's hair. "We can even let Noishe out of his pen if you want to."

"Yeah, yeah!" Lloyd agreed happily, squirming so that he could drop to the ground from where Kratos held him. Kratos – startled – reached out to grab Lloyd when a faint flicker of silver behind the child's shoulders made him stop. Although they were far too small for Lloyd to fly with, a pair of silver wings had appeared behind his shoulders, steadying Lloyd as he landed and raced over to Noishe's pen and began to fuss with the lock.

Kratos blinked, and then turned to face Yuan, making sure that he wasn't merely seeing things. The equally stunned look that covered Yuan's face reassured Kratos, and he simply let out an amused smile before walking over and helping Lloyd with the lock, Noishe whining happily and butting his head against Kratos' chest; he smiled and rubbed the protzoan's head as Lloyd hugged him and clambered up onto his back. "Yes, hello to you too, Noishe." Kratos told the shaggy green and white creature, standing aside to let him out of his pen. Lloyd grinned up at Kratos from where he sat on Noishe's back, silver wings still flapping behind him.

"Now I'm almost as tall as you, Daddy!" Lloyd laughed, standing up on Noishe's back, steadying himself by extending his arms. Indeed, now that he was atop Noishe's shoulders, his head came up to just under Kratos' chin, which only served to make Kratos chuckle and ruffle Lloyd's hair, earning a startled squawk and two small hands flying up to catch Kratos' wrist. "Daddy, why do you always do that?" Lloyd whined playfully, trying to get his hair back the way he liked it. "My hair's messy already~" Kratos full out laughed at that.

"And what's the matter with that, might I ask?" He responded, poking Lloyd on the nose as he spoke. Lloyd's eyes crossed at that, and he sneezed, which made him fall into a sitting position on Noishe's shoulders. Noishe whimpered at the shudden shift in weight on his shoulders, and he gave Kratos a reproachful look. "Oh, my apologies Noishe." Kratos chuckled at the irate look on Noishe's face before kneeling to be on Lloyd's eye level. Smiling at Lloyd, Kratos said softly, "alright, Lloyd if you don't want me to do that again, just let me know, alright?" Lloyd paused for a moment, and then nodded.

A sudden splash of water drenched the three, making Kratos blink as he looked up and glowered at Yuan, who was grinning at the two from beside the small creek. "well, I couldn't get you two to pay attention any other way." Yuan laughed at the look on Kratos' face, and yelped when Lloyd and Kratos both rushed forward and shoved him into the creek. Spluttering, Yuan sat up in the river bed just as Lloyd jumped in as well, laughing and clapping as he splashed the older male more. "Hey! Hey! You had help! Not fair, not fair!" He shouted, and then yelped as Kratos joined in and shoved him under water again. "Ack! Noishe, help! They're ganging up on me!" Noishe looked up from where he sat, seemed to contemplate the situation for a moment, and then let out a whine before splashing into the creek as well and taking a hold of Kratos' shirt and tugged him down into the water.

Kratos, caught off guard, let out a shout as he fell backwards into the water, and nearly yelping when he discovered just how cold the water really was. Yuan began to laugh at him, only to shout out as Lloyd grabbed onto one of his legs and tugged, sending him sprawling into the water as well, but not before he grabbed onto Lloyd and tugged him down too. The small boy yelped and laughed at the same time, silver wings flapping and splashing water on their own accord as Lloyd stood up again and splashed Noishe, who flinched away from the water and sat down in the water himself, his fur getting soaked when Yuan splashed at Kratos and missed, resulting in a very irate Noishe.

Before the three angels could react, however, Noishe stood up and shook himself off, earning several shouting laughs as they were drenched in a miniature rain shower. They paused for a few moments before they began to splash at one another again, laughing loudly as Noishe bounded among them, barking in happiness.

It took a couple of hours for the water fight to end, and once it had, Kratos and Yuan both pulled Lloyd out of the water and into the house to get on dry clothes, and Noishe lounged outside in the sun. Once the small boy was chased off to his room, Kratos pulled off his wet clothes with a sigh, and dropped down onto the dry bed as Yuan borrowed a spare change of clothes to return to the Renegade base and get his own. "That was certainly entertaining, wasn't it?" Kratos asked Yuan, who grinned as he wrung out his hair.

"Do you think he's noticed that his wings have come in?" Yuan asked in response, pulling his hair up into another ponytail to keep it from dripping. Kratos paused, and then shook his head. Yuan grinned, "Well, you might want to point it out to him before too much longer. He's going to be ecstatic, and you're going to have to keep him from flying right now." Kratos and Yuan both laughed at that, with Yuan warping away to get clothes, muttering something about a birthday cake or something to that extent.

Kratos smiled to himself at the thought, using an unsoiled towel to dry his hair as he reflected over what he could possibly give to Lloyd as a birthday present. "He is too young to begin swordplay, and even if he was older, I have no sword to give him." He mused aloud, making a mental note to ask Yuan about possibly giving Lloyd Flamberge when he was of age. "So what …" Kratos' eyes glanced around the room, only to snag onto the sight of his swallow tailed cape, the dark violet fabric clean and plain as it hung from a hat rack.

A brief, almost fleeting image of a incredibly young Lloyd running around while holding the cape around his shoulders passed in front of Kratos' eyes, and he smiled as he slowly stood up and walked over to the cape. Running the swallow tails through his hands, he chuckled and took it off the hook, looking for the latches that kept the second layer clipped in place. "Goodness knows he's grabbed it enough that I always knew where to find it." Kratos chuckled to himself, remembering with fondness how endearing it had been to watch the small child running around while wearing it, nearly tripping over the tails as he ran and dodged away from his father's hands.

"Unfortunately, I don't have time to wrap it …" Kratos smiled to himself, unlatching the woven mythril portion of the cape. Setting the greyish violet back on the hat rack, Kratos took the cape and folded it, his fingers trailing over the lavender trim. He'd had the cape since he had begun to fight in the war, a gift from a very close friend who hadn't survived long. "Who would have thought that this would become such an heirloom …" Kratos smiled to himself, setting the ape aside and pulling on a clean shirt.

A few moments later, Lloyd poked his head in the doorway, silver wings still flapping behind him. "I'm dry Daddy." He said simply, trotting forward and scrambling up onto the bed while his wings flapped rapidly, helping him keep his balance. "Where did Yuan go? Did he have to go back to work?" Lloyd asked, looking around for the blue haired half-elf. Kratos smiled and shook his head.

"No, Lloyd, he went to go find some dry clothes … and to get your birthday cake." Kratos reassured the boy, grinning when he saw Lloyd's face brighten. Smiling, Kratos sat down next to him and ruffled his hair again. "You do realize that your wings grew in, right?" He asked, poking one of the silvery feathers. Lloyd, startled, looked behind his shoulder, his eyes lighting up in sheer delight as he spotted the feathers that grew from behind his shoulders.

"I have wings! I have wings~!" Lloyd laughed, clapping his hands together as the wings flapped behind him, as if they were celebrating in their own way. Kratos smiled tenderly as he watched it, slowly letting his own cyan wings appear. Unlike before, however, the large wings hung limply, barely flapping even though Kratos was still awake and alive. He supposed it was a mark of his illness and tapped Lloyd on the head to catch his attention.

Once he knew that Lloyd was looking at him again, Kratos smiled and stated, "Now, I know you are eager to go flying, but your wings are too small right now." Lloyd began to pout, only for kratos to poke his nose. "But if you continue to eat right and keep getting bigger, they'll get larger as well, and soon you will be able to fly." He explained, smiling as Lloyd's expression changed back to gleeful. "But you should learn how to put them away …" He muttered, and began to instruct Lloyd as best he could.

However, their concentration was broken when Yuan arrived again, carrying a small chocolate cake with chocolate marble frosting. Lloyd saw the cake and literally launched off of the mattress, nearly knocking Yuan over. Kratos scrambled to catch the cake while laughing, and Yuan untangled Lloyd from around his waist. "Remind me again why I decided that getting Lloyd cake would be a smart idea." Yuan commented sarcastically once he finally managed to get Lloyd off of him.

Kratos laughed and simply took the cake out into the main room and set it on a table out of Lloyd's reach, once again grateful that he was too small to fly. Quickly walking over to the trapdoor that lead to Dirk's forge, he opened it up and asked the dwarf if he would like some cake. "Wha kind o cake?" Came the stuffy response, and when Kratos responded with chocolate, a laugh was his answer. "Sure, send it on down; I've got a gate door temperin down here, so I have te keep me eye on it." Dirk walked up a few of the steps to lean partially onto the floor while Kratos fetched a slice of cake and handed it off to him. "Thanks. Lloyd, no throwin food all over the place, ye hear? Ye'd still have te clean it up."

"Fine, Uncle Dirk …" Lloyd pouted from his seat, a slice of cake already in front of him. Yuan sat beside him, his own slice of cake already half eaten; Yuan had a major sweet tooth that almost nobody knew about. Kratos and Dirk both laughed, and Dirk went back down the forge. Kratos walked over and sat across from Lloyd, helping himself to cake while listening to Lloyd and Yuan playfully bicker with one another, secretly hoping the two wouldn't get into a food fight … like they had done before.

When he was finished with his food, Kratos slowly stood up and retreated back into his room to grab the cape. Lloyd and Yuan had all but devoured the cake between the two of them, so hopefully they wouldn't need anything else for a while … Walking back out into the room, Kratos hid the cape behind his back as Lloyd stood up and ran over to him, grinning. "Daddy, what'cya got?" Lloyd asked, trying to poke his head around Kratos to see what he held. Kratos smiled and put a hand on Lloyd's head to stop him from peeking, and pulled the cape out from behind on the opposite side.

Unfolding it, he dropped it onto Lloyd's shoulders, making Lloyd blink in shock as he registered it. "I didn't have time to wrap it, but I knew you wouldn't mind." Kratos stated simply, and the look on Lloyd's face when the boy managed to look up at him again was worth it. He barely had time to brace himself as Lloyd wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, never letting him go once. Yuan watched on from the table, smiling broadly as the scene played out before him.

"Thank you Daddy … I love you …" Lloyd mumbled after a while, his face buried in Kratos' pant leg. Kratos smiled down at him and ruffled his hair, noticing with amusement that the tails extended about a foot or two behind Lloyd. Kneeling down, Kratos simply pulled Lloyd into a tight hug, knowing that saying anything would simply ruin the moment.

The rest of the day passed calmly, even though Lloyd and Yuan did get into a minor fork fight over the last piece of cake. The sun had gone down when Lloyd finally fell asleep, curling up under the cape like it was a blanket, Kratos slowly picking him up and cradling him against his chest as he began to carry him upstairs to be put to bed. Turning, he faced Yuan and smiled. "It's a good thing you were able to make it." Kratos murmured, getting a smile out of Yuan as he yawned and stretched.

"I'm glad I was able to make it." Yuan responded simply. "I should probably get back to work now before Botta drowns in paperwork." Kratos chuckled at that, and waved goodbye to Yuan as the younger angel walked outside, warping away after a short distance. With a sigh, Kratos continued on up the stairs, beginning to feel incredibly fatigued. Tucking Lloyd under the blankets, Kratos smiled as Lloyd's grip on the cape tightened, his breathing even and quiet.

"You just had an exciting day, didn't you?" Kratos asked himself, running a hand through Lloyd's hair. Leaning forward, he kissed his son gently on the forehead before standing up. "Don't forget Lloyd … I love you too … my son." He whispered, hoping that Lloyd heard him in some fashion. Standing up, he walked downstairs and into his own room, thankful that the pain in his heart had lessened, even if it was slight.

_

* * *

There's chapter five. *yawns* I should get to bed now … but yeah, this chapter was fun to write … hopefully it's a bit more lighthearted than the other chapters … And yeah, the first little bit in italics is a dream, in case you didn't catch it ...  
_

_Cause Kratos _IS _going to die in the next chapter … *yawns again* alright, bedtime for me. Review, and goodnight everyone._


	6. Death comes on silent wings

_Lessone #6: Death's messenger makes no noise until it had you in its claws._

_

* * *

_Yuan yawned in spite of himself, going over the same section of paperwork for the third time that evening. It had already been five days since Lloyd's birthday party, and he had barely managed to snag more than a few hours to spend with the two; his work was piling up, both for the Renegades and for Yggdrasil, and if he didn't get it done on time, the gig would be up. Sighing, Yuan looked around, and then looked idly out the window. "Oh, what do you know, there's an eclipse tonight." He commented as Botta walked in the room, making the taller half-elf stare at Yuan, a sweatdrop running down the back of his neck.

"There is more coffee available in the office, Lord Yuan; I think you need it." He commented blandly, making Yuan start and whirl around to face him. "Yes, you definitely need more coffee if you didn't notice me entering." Botta stated simply, making Yuan chuckle weakly to hide his embarrassment. Walking over to the elder's desk, Botta took the finished paperwork and looked it over, not making any comments on the state of Yuan's handwriting. Yuan looked up sheepishly at him and left to get more coffee.

While there _was_ fresh coffee, Yuan didn't like the taste of instant, and instead set about making his own, running on autopilot as his mind continued to wonder and worry about how Lloyd and Kratos were doing. 'I wonder how much time Kratos has left …' He thought morbidly to himself, leaning against the counter while waiting for the coffee to finish. Unwillingly, his mind drifted back over to a lesson that he had overheard Dirk giving Lloyd at one point, telling him about the White Goddess.

While many people would assume that the White Goddess was all good, Yuan had only needed to listen to a small portion to know that Dirk was talking about Ereshkigal, the Spirit of Death. Dirk had told Lloyd the age old superstition that all dwarves and elves held; if a white faced owl with a dark body landed in your room, then either you or someone close to you was going to die within the hour. 'I wonder if that story holds any truth to it …' Yuan thought to himself, looking out at the slowly eclipsing moon. "What a night; I wonder if Lloyd's watching it right now." Yuan knew Lloyd well; the boy had his father's love of the stars, and it was all that Kratos and Dirk could do to get the five-year-old to bed on time.

'I hope that job Dirk got pays well; he had to go all the way out to Izoold.' Yuan sighed as he grabbed the finished coffee and poured himself some. 'If there were more dwarves about that weren't aligned with Cruxis, then perhaps he wouldn't have to travel so far to make some money.' Taking a sip, Yuan smiled to himself and began to walk back to his desk, feeling the caffeine starting to chase away some of the fatigue that had seeped into him as the day had passed. 'I wonder why I'm this tired though; I even took a nap earlier in the afternoon …' Yuan's thoughts were cut off when he saw that someone had opened his window, allowing a cold, desert evening breeze to blow into his office.

"I thought I told Botta that I keep my window closed for a good reason at night." Yuan grumbled, hastily putting the coffee down on his desk and turned about to close it. When he had done so and had turned around, however, he felt the blood leave his face as his eyes took in a large owl seated at his desk, nudging a coffee pot with its foot. Yuan's thoughts immediately jumped back to the thought of white faced owls, but he shook his head. 'It might just be a great horned owl, or an eagle owl … please be a great horned!' He thought to himself, quietly stepping towards it with his hands outstretched to pick it up. His hands were almost wrapped around it when it's head whipped about, revealing two obsidian black eyes in a white face.

Yuan froze, feeling the blood leave his face; that was a barn owl. He had a bloody _barn owl_ on his desk, and if he wasn't completely losing his mind, the legends said that Ereshkigal's familiar was a black barn owl … slowly, not breaking eye contact with the owl, Yuan lifted up an arm to zap the large bird with. As if sensing what he was trying to do, the owl let out an ear splitting shree that made Yuan clap his hands over his ears, mantling its wings in an aggressive manner as it stared the Seraph down, still shreeing.

"GET … OUT!!!" Yuan finally shouted at the bird, sending a small lightning bolt flying towards it. It hit, the small electrical charge briefly stunning the bird. It didn't last long, but it was enough for Yuan to throw himself at it and get his hands wrapped around its wings. The owl shreed again, pecking at the hands that were holding it. Between the shrieking and the pecking, Yuan knew he was losing blood; one of his eardrums had ruptured, and as he tried to car the owl out of the room, it started clawing at him with its talons. "Out!" He shouted at the thing, kicking out a window and all but throwing the bird out.

The barn owl dropped a foot or two before flapping its wings and gaining altitude. When it was on Yuan's eye level, it looked at him and let out one last shree before fling off on silent wings, circling the base twice before flying off to the north. Yuan watched it go, a cold feeling settling into his stomach as he ignored the bleeding wounds on his body, the throbbing pain from his ruptured eardrum a mild throb. 'Oh, Martel, please tell me that I'm reading too much into this …' Yuan thought to himself, eyes looking at the moon again; the eclipse had already hidden a good portion of the moon already, turning the rest of it blood red.

It was that and the rather odd feeling of permanent nervousness that he had had the entire day that made him even worry about it more than was usual, but the barn owl … if that wasn't an ill omen, then Yuan was losing his sanity completely. When Botta ran into the room, worried about the calamity caused by the scuffle with the owl, Yuan turned to him. "I'm going to check on Kratos and Lloyd. If I'm not back in an hour, then …" Yuan didn't want to think about it, but Botta seemed to understand what he was getting at, for he nodded. Yuan gave him a thankful smile before tearing out of the base, not bothering to warp until he was out in the crisp air. 'Please be okay, Kratos, please …!'

* * *

'I won't last through tonight ...' Kratos thought dimly, staring at the slowly eclipsing moon outside his window, the normally pale disk the same color as blood. As the morbid thought came to his mind, a searing pain shot through his chest, forcing him into a sitting position, coughing uncontrollably. The auburn could feel air trying to force itself into his body while the blood filling his lungs and throat surged out with every cough, staining his clothing, skin, and the sheets that covered him from the waist down, turning the sheets a sickly purple color while his shirt was stained black. The coughing fit lasted nearly five minutes without pause - the longest one by far - and once it was finally over, Kratos limply dropped back onto the pillows, ruby eyes glazed. "I ... I don't believe I could survive another attack like this ... I barely have enough strength to do so now ..." he whispered hoarsely to himself, feeling the first tears of regret building in his eyes as they began to slide from the corners of his eyes.

"Daddy ...?" A soft, quavering voice at the door to Kratos' room made him turn his head to look, and a pained guilt stabbed his heart as he saw Lloyd staring at him, his wine red eyes wide with worry and fear. If the circumstances were slightly different, if it weren't for the fact that Kratos was the only living relative the boy had left, if it were truly blood that ran in Lloyd's veins instead of rich, crimson mana, Kratos would have made sure his son stayed as far away from him as possible. But the infernal disease could not claim him, no matter how painfully it ravaged his father's form. This was, at least, one curse that Kratos could not pass on to his only child.

Seemingly sensing his father's pain, Lloyd ran towards him. "Daddy!!" he cried out, reaching out with his hands to grasp Kratos' large one. Looking at his father with teary red eyes, the boy pleaded, "Don't go, Daddy, please don't go!" Kratos looked at him, and felt a deep pain in his chest that was a mixture of guilt and the telltale sign of his illness returning, and he was forced to tug his hand away from Lloyd's as he sat up again, coughing heavily in front of his son, his hand covering his mouth in a futile effort to stay some of the blood leaving his body. He didn't need to look to know that there was a horrified look across Lloyd's face: this was the one thing that Kratos hated more than the illness itself, after all, being forced to suffer from a fit in front of his son.

Once the attack had ceased once again, Kratos sighed heavily and fell back onto the pillows, turning to rest on his side so that he could ruffle Lloyd's brown hair with clean hand. He could feel what little strength that was left in his immortal body fleeing him quickly. "Lloyd …" He began, voice far hoarser than Lloyd had ever heard it. "I'm sorry, will you --?" Kratos was cut off as another cough tore from his throat, barely covered by his already bloodied hand.

"Daddy, hang on!!" Lloyd pleaded, taking Kratos' hand from atop his head and holding it in his own.

Kratos stopped coughing to smile weakly at Lloyd, his eyes growing blurry as he wiped his mouth on his bare arm, not caring that it left a crimson streak on his ashen skin. Breathing raggedly, he attempted to focus on Lloyd again as his eyelids threatened to close, never to reopen. "C – can you … promise me – " cut off briefly by another coughing fit, Kratos found breathing even more difficult, blood flowing freely from his lips as he asked, voice faint. "Promise me … that you will become strong, Lloyd … please …"

Lloyd sniffled loudly, and while he didn't fully understand his father's plea, he nodded, crying quietly. "U – uh-huh … I'll be strong for you, Daddy." He stated, tiny voice wobbling as he struggled not to cry, a hand trying to brush away the torrent of tears. To his surprise, Kratos used what little strength he had left in his body to do so for him, an even weaker smile on his face than before.

Kratos was about to fade; he could feel it, could tell that whatever little energy he had that kept him alive for the moment was quickly fading. 'I have to do this, I have to tell him … please, Fate, be kind … and let me tell my son one last thing …' Kratos pleaded, feeling his eyes slip shut against his will. "Good." He said simply, smiling as wide as he could for his child. "And … never forget, Lloyd … I …" Another cough, this one far more strangled than the rest, left him, rich crimson blood flowing down his chin. Opening his eyes to look at Lloyd, Kratos gave him the widest smile he could muster, and said as loudly as he was able to, "I love you, my son …"

With that, Kratos' eyes closed again, and his life faded away, a smile still across his face. Lloyd seemed to realize that something had gone horribly awry, because he dropped his father's suddenly chilled hand and shook his shoulder, ignoring the infected blood that was near his hand. "Daddy?! Daddy, wake up, wake up!" He pleaded, wailing loudly. "Daddy, please, wake up!!"

"Kratos …!!! No!" Yuan's voice choked from the doorway as he arrived, stopping in horror as he saw that he was too late to say goodbye to his lifelong friend. Trembling, Yuan stepped into the room and approached the bed, stopping when Lloyd turned to look at him, his face tearstained, eyes hurt, confused, and utterly heartbroken.

"Daddy's not waking up, he not waking up!" He cried out, throwing himself at Yuan, who caught him, hugging the five-year-old close to his chest as he sank to the floor. Lloyd seemed unaware of the shift in position, because he continued to cry loudly. "Daddy's gone … Daddy's gone, and it's not fair! Daddy needs to be here!! I want Daddy and Mommy! I want them back!"

"Daddy and Mommy can't come back …" Yuan choked out, clutching Lloyd tightly. "They're someplace safe, where the bad men can't get to them. They didn't want to leave you … but they had to …" Finally breaking, Yuan closed his eyes and wept, gritting his teeth as he and Lloyd sat out the night in the eerily silent room, mourning heavily for their loss.

Lloyd eventually fell into a fitful sleep, but Yuan remained awake, his hand rubbing the back of Lloyd's head as he struggled to wrap his mind around the loss. "Kratos … is gone …" He whispered to himself, wondering how he would be able to tell Yggdrasil. Even though he hated having to do so, he needed to inform the elder angel before too much time had passed. Even harder to imagine was what Yggdrasil's reaction would be. Would he react in anger and rage that his seal was dead? Or would he handle it like he handled finding out that Kratos was suffering from?

Pushing the thought out of his mind as Lloyd hiccupped and whimpered in his sleep, Yuan turned his attention to the child, who somehow managed to cry even in his sleep. 'Poor Lloyd … he doesn't deserve to go through this …' Yuan bit his lip and pulled Lloyd closer to his person, letting the small boy cry against him as he stood. Reaching out with a hand, he slowly grabbed the thin sheets that rested on Kratos' body and pulled them over his head. 'The only thing that could possibly be good about this is that he isn't in pain anymore.' Yuan decided, looking at the body for a moment longer before carrying Lloyd up to his room.

Sitting down on Lloyd's bed, Yuan went to put Lloyd down when the child whimpered again and tightened his grip, not letting Yuan move. Feeling a stab of guilt overtake him, Yuan sighed in defeat and took off his boots. Leaning against the headboard, he pulled the blanket up onto his lap to cover Lloyd. Already he felt a pang in his mind, and his grip on Lloyd tightened; he was not going to let Lloyd suffer alone. While he might not be able to visit him often, he would strive to be there when Lloyd needed him.

A faint clattering of talons on a wooden railing made Yuan look up sharply; the barn owl from before was back, but there was something different about it. Cocking its white, heart shaped face, the bird took in the sleeping Lloyd and the half-elf holding him. After a moment, the expression returned to normal, and the bird flapped its wings and hopped to the bedpost, it's already dark feathers turning black as it landed. Yuan stiffened and tightened his grip on Lloyd, who woke up. "GET. OUT." Yuan hissed at bird, hoping that it could understand him.

The owl let out its shree again, mantling its now black wings as its head swiveled about, looking for someone. "Kratos is downstairs!" Yuan shouted at it, even though it blatantly ignored him. Its face snapped back onto Lloyd, who was staring at it with wide, frightened eyes. Before the child could react, the bird launched itself at him, talons fully extended. Lloyd let out a frightened shout, pressing closer against Yuan.

There was as clap of thunder, and the bird fell to the floor, stunned, lightning crackling over its wings. Yuan sat up and stared at it, and then shot a second lightning bolt at it again. This time the owl was killed, the blast slamming it into the wall with a thwack, its feathers changing from black to the traditional tawny brown. Lloyd whimpered and stared at it more, clearly petrified as his grip tightened even more on the half-elf's shirt. Yuan looked down at him, and went to soothe him when Dirk's footsteps raced up the stairs.

When the dwarf saw the scene, he sighed and asked gently, "He's gone?" Yuan nodded, trying hard not to burst out into tears again as he rubbed Lloyd's back. Sighing, Dirk looked around, freezing when he saw the fried barn owl. "When did that get in here?" He asked in a hushed voice, eyes wide as he backed up towards the bed. Lloyd whimpered again as Yuan explained, his eyes locked on the owl as if it would come to life and attack him again. When Yuan was finished, Dirk walked over to the corpse and prodded it with his foot. When it didn't stir, he leaned down with a glove covered hand and grasped it. Taking it to the window, he tossed it outside. "Let te beats eat it. Te White Goddess has him already." He growled, and then turned to Yuan. "Will ye be stayin long?" Yuan paused for a moment, and then shook his head.

"I should go … there's someone who needs to be told about this …" Slowly detaching Lloyd from him, Yuan looked down at the young child and smiled softly. "I'll be right back, Lloyd; I promise." Lloyd gave him a frightened look, but nodded, pulling Kratos' cape towards him and hugging it tightly to his person. Sighing, Yuan ruffled the boy's hair one last time and nodded to Dirk before warping away to Welgaia.

Not wasting any time, he hurried up towards Yggdrasil's castle, ignoring the lesser angels as he barged into the castle. The Dark Dragon gave him a wary look before shifting aside to allow the Seraph passage. Once inside the throne room, Yuan looked around for Yggdrasil, but stopped when he heard the younger angel's voice. "So, Yuan, what on earth brings you here?" Yggdrasil hissed, slowly appearing before Yuan, blue-green eyes narrowed. "I thought that you had sworn never to come see me again."

"This is too major for me to let some lackey tell you." Yuan snapped, lightning beginning to race over his form. When Yggdrasil gave him an arched look, as if he doubted the statement, he sighed heavily and drew in a deep breath. "Kratos … he's gone." He stated simply, looking at the floor. "His illness resurfaced and … killed him." A minute of silence greeted the statement, and then another. Concerned, Yuan looked up at Yggdrasil to see his reaction, and stared as he saw that there was nothing other than utter shock written on his features.

Inside his mind, Yggdrasil was stunned beyond words, but the half of him that was Mithos let out a pained, grief-stricken howl at the news. The result involved him gripping his head, screaming in grief as he turned back to his younger form as tears streamed down his face, wings shining behind him. All Yuan could do was stare at him in shock, completely floored. He had not been expecting Yggdrasil to act like _this _...

After a moment, however, Mithos reached forward, a shaky hand gripping Yuan's pants. "P-please say that -" Mithos stated quietly, clearly crying. "Please tell me ... tell me I'm hallucinating! Yuan, please!" The desparate look in the younger's eyes nearly made Yuan lie to him, just to soothe his fears, but in the end, he sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Mithos ... he's gone." He whispered, closing his eyes as Mithos' face contorted into something that mirrored utter heartbreak, curling up into a ball and sobbing loudly. After a moment, Yuan closed his eyes and warped away, unable to bear seeing Mithos in such a state; he hated to have people see him cry as it was.

Seemingly not sensing that he was alone, Mithos sobbed more. "Kratos ... no ... no ... why did you have to go?" He whispered, his gentle side somehow managing to remain dominate despite Yggdrasil's frantic rallying and rage. Sniffling, a brief memory of when he had first found out that his teacher was dying flashed in his minds eye. "Dammit, why can't I save anyone?!"

* * *

_And there we have it ... Kratos is dead. Now the really fun part beings; watching Lloyd grow up after the fact. (And having fun poking at his new found fear of barn owls, but can you honestly blame him for that?)_

_Okay, now that I have more time to do this, let me explain something about barn owls. I don't know how many people know this, but they don't hoot. They SCREAM. Really, really loudly to boot. If you stand too close to them, you could be temporarily rendered deaf and have a chance of pernament ear damage. That's part of the reason why Yuan was having such a problem with the owl at first._

_Review, please._


	7. A friend is a wonderful thing

_Lessone #7: Friendship is a valuable thing, no matter how great the effort it is to make friends._

"Grandmother, are you sure I'll be okay?" Blond, six-year-old Colette asked as she packed up for her first day of school. Phaidra. The elderly priestess looked up at her granddaughter and smiled, placing a wrinkled hand on her cheek. She knew that the young girl was anxious about this turn of events; it had taken a good deal of persuasion for the rest of the clergy to allow Colette to be taught in Iselia's small one room schoolhouse with the other children her age. Colette smiled weakly. "Grandmother … do you think the other kids will like me?" She asked, making Phaidra smile at her again as she stood up and took Colette's hand, guiding her to the door.

"You'll be fine, Colette." She reassured her, making the small girl smile slightly. "There will be plenty of children to make friends with, as long as you are friendly to them." Colette nodded and smiled back broadly, hugging her grandmother around her waist before walking out the door, smiling. The villagers that saw Colette walking to the school building smiled and greeted the young girl as she continued on, not used to going out into the village like this. She was always either at the temple or at her home, studying the Angelic language or performing some ceremonial duty as the next Chosen of Mana.

Once she was inside the classroom, Colette looked around nervously; there were so many kids there, all of them different ages, talking and laughing with one another. She was already feeling nervous, because if they all knew one another so well, then why would they want to talk with her, who was a newcomer into this world? About ready to quietly creep into an empty desk, Colette's eyes spotted something that she already knew was unusual, even if she had just entered the classroom.

A young boy, perhaps only a year and a half older than her, sat off to the far side of the room, near the window. He didn't interact with anyone else, didn't stir when another boy jostled his chair. He just sat there, staring out the window with his head propped on his left hand. Colette stared at the boy for a good long moment, and slowly walked over to where he sat, smiling. "Hi." She said politely, still smiling.

The boy blinked, and then turned his head to look at her, which only made Colette stare more. Two bright red eyes met blue ones from in between flyaway brown hair, set in a face that seemed too solemn for a young boy. Colette was about to back away and apologize for bothering him when a faint flicker crossed the boy's face, and a corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "Hello." He spoke softly, but there was gentleness there. "Are you new here? I haven't seen you before."

Colette relaxed and sat down next to the boy, smiling again. "Yeah. I'm Colette Brunel, it's nice to meet you." She stated, positively beaming as she kicked her heels against the leg of her chair. "Who're you? I haven't seen you around Iselia before." She asked, curious as to who the quiet boy was. He gave her a long look, a corner of his mouth tilting upward in a subtle smile.

"I'm Lloyd." Lloyd responded after a moment, still leaning his head on a hand. "I live on the other side of the forest, so I don't come to school very often. It's a long walk, and there's monsters living in the forest." Colette's eyes widened at that; she had never known someone who lived on the opposite side of the Iselia Forest, mainly due to the fact that the Human Ranch in the heart of the forest made most people unwilling to pass through the woods unarmed. "Uncle Dirk just had to run an errand today, so I was able to come for today. I'm going to have to go early too, so I can get back home safe."

"Isn't the forest scary though?" Colette asked, shivering in spite of herself. "I know I'd be scared to live there, and the Desians might attack …" She tapered off, noticing that Lloyd had gone quiet. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, whatever it was." She apologized. While it was true that Iselia had a non-aggression treaty with the Desians, Lloyd didn't live in the village, so the treaty might not cover him.

"No, it's okay. I just don't like Desians." Lloyd shrugged, and then looked up. "Oh, that's the teacher then." The comment made Colette look to the front of the classroom just in time to see a young woman with tidy black hair reach the front desk. It seemed her presence was enough to get the rest of the class to calm down and take their own seats as the teacher began to take the attendance. When her eyes rested on Lloyd, she arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything and continued to call attendance. "She's used to me only being here once in a while, that's all." Lloyd reassured Colette in a whisper as she gave him a worried look. "She doesn't call my name because I'm not part of the school, but she knows I'm s'posed to be here."

"Okay … I was worried there …" Colette smiled weakly back at him, relaxing. She had to admit, Lloyd was a nice boy, even if he was a lot quieter than most other boys of their age group. As class went on, that opinion of him was only confirmed again and again as Lloyd explained things to her that she was unaware of. The majority of the time, Lloyd's face was soft and serene, but there was something off about him, some sort of sadness that hung around him. Colette wondered what it was, but didn't bother asking him until lunchtime rolled around.

The only reason she asked was because she caught him staring at a small pendant with a soft look in his eyes. Curious, Colette leaned over his shoulder, eyes widening when she saw that it was a locket that Lloyd was holding. The picture in it was of a young couple, the woman holding a year old child in her arms. Looking at Lloyd, Colette asked, "Is this your family?" Lloyd blinked, startled, and then looked at Colette, smiling in a sad way.

"Yeah … this is my parents." He replied, pulling the locket off of his neck and handing it to Colette, who took it gingerly and stared at it. "They … they're no longer alive." Colette looked up in shock as Lloyd spoke, seeing the sadness creep back into his eyes. "My mom was killed by Desians when I was three, and my dad died some time later of a broken heart. " It wasn't _exactly_ a lie, Lloyd told himself, but it still hurt him to even tell a partial lie.

Colette looked back at the locket, and then at Lloyd again, and she began to understand the emotions that made Lloyd different. If he was old enough to remember seeing his parents die, no wonder he acted so much calmer than their classmates. "... I'm sorry." She murmured, returning the locket.

"Don't be; it's not like you were involved it." Lloyd shook his head, taking the locket and stringing it back around his neck. His quiet smile returned as he finished, "Besides, Uncle Dirk takes good care of me, and Yuan stops by as often as he can."

"Oh is Yuan a friend of yours?" Colette asked, interest perking. Lloyd grinned and looked out the window, letting Colette eat a little of her lunch before he responded.

"I guess so; he was a good friend of my dad's, so I've seen a lot of him, even after I lost my parents." Lloyd smiled, this time seemingly content and happy with his lot in life. Colette looked at the smile and giggled, glad to see that Lloyd did have _some _joy in his life despite being an orphan. Lloyd smiled back, and then stretched his arms over his head, head tilting to one side. "Oh, that's Uncle Dirk in the hallway; I guess it's time for me to go then." Lloyd stood up and walked to the door just as a dwarf poked his head in the doorway.

Walking towards him, Lloyd turned and smiled at Colette, waving at her. "Bye Colette, it was good to meet you!" He called, prompting Colette into waving back as he left, smiling just as broadly. Lloyd and the dwarf – who Colette figured was his Uncle Dirk – left after that, and Colette noticed for the first time that Lloyd hadn't eaten anything for lunch; the only things that he had even brought with him was the book that they were using in class. Puzzled, Colette wondered what it meant, but didn't think long on it and instead went back to finishing her lunch.

* * *

"He was really nice!" Colette giggled over supper that evening, talking to her father and grandmother about her first day of classes. "I wish he didn't have to leave during lunch though …" Sighing again, Colette ate a little more, avoiding the peppers in the food. Phaidra and Frank shared a knowing look, but didn't say anything as Colette looked up again. "I want to go talk with him again, but he lives on the other size of the forest, and I don't know when he'll be in school again."

"Your friend lives on the other side of the forest?" Frank asked, puzzled. "Only the dwarf Dirk lives over there." Phaidra nodded, but the elder priestess seemed contemplative.

"It is possible that Dirk took in an apprentice." She commented, eating her own food quietly. Colette looked up at her elderly grandmother with a questioning look, apparently confused as to what the term 'apprentice' meant. Smiling, Phaidra nodded at Colette. "I meant that Dirk is taking care of Lloyd and is training him as a blacksmith."

"But Lloyd's only a year older than me." Colette pointed out, still confused. Sighing and shaking her head, Colette went back to eating. "Father, Grandmother, can I go and see him sometime soon? He must be lonely living all the way over there, without any friends our age …" Frank looked at Phaidra, and then nodded.

"This weekend would be okay; I needed to ask Dirk something anyways." He smiled when Colette's face lit up in a bright smile, her eyes dancing as she began to happily chatter on and away. Frank gave Phaidra a small smile; it was a treat to keep Colette so happy, especially considering what was in store for her in the future …

* * *

Clinging to her father's hand, Colette felt her eyes widen as Lloyd's home came into view, the two story house settled in nicely with the forest around it. Some smoke came out of both the main chimney and a small funnel chimney beside it, and a laundry line ran next to the side closest to them. Stepping onto the bridge that crossed the little stream in front, Colette looked around at the small clearing, but stopped when she saw a small marble angel off to one side.

Pulling away from Frank as he went inside the house, Colette walked over to the small angel statuette and stared before she realized that it stood in front of a small path. Curious, Colette looked down the path; it was completely covered in short grass, fences on either side of the walkway keeping any monsters out of the way. Hoping that it wouldn't take her too long, Colette picked herself up and began walking down it, noticing at once how quiet it was.

Only a few moments had passed before Colette came out into a small clearing, which also had fences going around the edge of it in a circle. Two old elder trees stood tall over a pair of marble grave markers, the shade they provided casting an inviting shadow on the ground around them. The whole area radiated with an unnatural calm, one that Colette felt even in her bones as she walked deeper into the glen, eyes locked onto the gravestones. Kneeling when she managed to get directly in front of them, Colette read the names to herself.

"Anna and Kratos Aurion …" Colette felt a faint sigh leave her mouth, her mind contemplating the how and why the two buried here had come to lie where they were. "Are you Lloyd's parents?" she asked, fingers reaching out to trace the wings that were etched into the gravestones. There was still that same, impenetrable silence around her, and Colette found that she couldn't say anything more while she was around the gravestones, not wanting to break the stillness that impregnated the air with its presence.

"Colette, what are you doing down here?" Lloyd's voice from directly behind her made Colette leap to her feet with a faint shout, startled out of the heavy silence around her. Whipping around, Colette nearly fell backwards, only for Lloyd's hand to shoot out and grab her wrist. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!" Lloyd's eyes widened briefly, face full of concern. "How long have you been down here? I came looking for you when I saw that your father was talking to Uncle Dirk." Looking around the still silent glen, Lloyd turned his face back to Colette as she stared at him for a few moments; how could she have not heard him coming with utter silence around them?

"O – only a few moments." She admitted after a moment, looking back at Lloyd. "I saw the path leading this way, and I was curious, so …" Tapering off, Colette looked at the grave markers once more. "Are they your parents?" She asked, voice timid. Lloyd looked at the grave markers for a long moment, a sad look on his face.

"Yeah; we buried them here because elder trees are supposed to mean life and death, and this area is far enough away from the Human Ranch to avoid any accidents with them." Lloyd replied, looking up at the old trees that stood over the graves. "Yuan wanted to plant an olive tree nearby, but we figured it would die too quickly to have much of an impact."

"Why an olive tree?" Colette asked, confused. Lloyd shrugged as well, showing that he didn't know what it was supposed to mean either.

"I dunno, you would have to ask him." He muttered, but then looked around, confused. "I'm shocked you were able to get down here; Noishe usually chases most people off when they come down the path a short ways, and the monsters are terrified of him." Lloyd seemed amused by this. "I guess it's a good thing they do so, otherwise Noishe would run from them, the big coward." Colette was spared from having to ask what Noishe was as a low whine reached the two children, and an immense green and white dog walked towards them from the shelter of one of the elder trees.

"And how long have you been napping under there, Noishe?" Lloyd asked the large dog with a laugh, reaching up to scratch him behind his huge, wing-like ears as Noishe licked his face. "Yeah, yeah, I know, it's good to see you too, now stop licking me!" Lloyd actually began to laugh, trying to push Noishe's face away from his while the dog's tail wagged faster and faster. "Settle down! I want you to meet Colette." Finally managing to get away from Noishe for a moment, Lloyd turned to look at Colette with a smile.

Colette stared for a good long moment. "Is he … your pet dog?" She asked Lloyd, who nodded. Uneasy, as Noishe was easily as tall as she was, Colette held out a hand for him to sniff, and squeaked in shock when he began to lick her palm, tail still wagging rapidly as he gave Colette a good sniffing. "He's very friendly … ahhahahahah, that tickles!" Colette giggled as Noishe began to wash her face, tail wagging faster. Lloyd laughed again as Colette began to scratch the dog's ears as well, earning a happy whine.

"Yeah, he's a real nice dog until you get him angry." Lloyd smiled, but then looked down the path again. "Come on, we should head back before your father or Uncle Dirk gets worried." He stated, and then turned back to Noishe. "Alright Noishe, I think you got her face pretty clean." Noishe merely whined in response, tail still wagging.

Colette giggled at the two, but she did walk behind Lloyd as he started down the path, Noishe behind him both. "Lloyd, are we friends?" She asked after a moment of silence. When Lloyd turned to look at her, confused, she blushed and looked at the ground. "Well, you're really nice, and I miss you in school." She continued, but stopped when Lloyd grabbed her hand, making her look up into his face. At first, his expression seemed to be one of confusion and worry, but it vanished just as quickly as it came, and was replaced by a smile that held none of Lloyd's usual sadness.

"Of course we're friends!"

_

* * *

If you're wondering why the hell this took so long to update, I blame school, life, and Pokémon: Soul Silver version._


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